Just not my day
When I woke up this morning, I thought it would be a pretty decent day, despite the fact that I was going to work. For one, I got about 7 hours of sleep.... thats more than I have gotten in a few nights now. Secondly, I like my job. Third, I get paid well... not to mention that I like the people that I work with. But despite my sunny outlook this morning, the day has just not been going so well.
I got to work at 6:30. Around 11, we finished all of the morning work... and we sat the rest of the day. Now most people would be pleased to sit around reading People Magazine and surfing the web while getting paid lots of money. I am not one of those people. Given my lack of sleep, sitting around was/is dreadfully boring and it makes the already long day drag.
Then I went to lunch. Actually, i raced to lunch, only to hear the door click shut as I rounded the corner. I raced to the other door and went in. I used to think that the ladies in the caf were nice... but in reality, they are all bitter middle aged women who work in a cafeteria. A choice job? Not exactly. So anyway, they have already put away all of the main dishes... not that I ever get them anyway because they suck AND they are expensive. So I get a salad. Suprise. I always get a salad. I walk back to get an overpriced chicken finger the size of my pinkie to find them already gone into the trash. The trash! She couldnt wait one more second until I finished making my selection to throw them away!!! So then I go to pay... the first thing the lady says is Where did you come from? As if I were WT or something or that I didnt belong there. She gives an exasperated (and exaggerated) sigh because she has to get out her key to open the register so that I can pay. Hey, fine with me lady if I dont pay, its like 1:16, I am sorry if you dont like to keep things open one minute later for people who actually have a job that keeps people alive in this hospital. She gets a big giant WHATEVER from me.
So that was lunch...
The day moved on.... so far on this shift (my second one, still in chemistry) I have gotten chewed out by a co-worker for something that is not my problem and got one of our computers infected with spyware.
Now the thing that is ultimately annoying here is that we do not have admin rights... well of course, that makes sense.... but I could FIX the infernal computer if I was allowed access to certain things. But do I? no. So I had to turn the computer off and turn myself in. I have gotten in trouble before for being online... but this time it wasnt my fault. I bought the new foo fighters cd and ive had the song D.O.A. stuck in my head and I wanted to look up the lyrics. Who knew a stupid lyrics page would bring down a whole freakin computer? Annoying. Very annoying.
Lets see... what else is annoying me? Oh, my friend Alex called this morning... but I did not listen to the message. So when I finally had time, the message said he was at the hospital with his mom and he wanted to come see me if I was working. ARG. I havent seen or spoken to the kid in almost a year and it wouldve been awesome to see him, if only for a few minutes. Alex is like one of 4 people that I actually care to keep in touch with from PSU.
On top of other annoyances today, I cant play any games on the computer cuz they have all been blocked. Obviously we have had many internet issues before. Stupid people! If you can edjucate them about computers then you wouldnt have to block everything that is awesome like inkblot at shockwave.com. OH! And its freakin COLD in here. Right now I am wearing a t shirt and kinda baggy khakis that are pretty thin. I AM SO COLD! I know I am complaining right now... I know its annoying. If you have read this far, you definitely deserve kudos. Like the granola bar kind.
And so its 8:47pm and I have quite awhile left to go... and tomorrow I go to the chiropractor again and work again. My room is a disaster area, it should be quarrentined... and I havent even begun to learn Ave Maria for my cousins wedding on Sat. Not even! And Josh is done school, and I want to hang out with him... not to mention Ethan being home, or Andrea leaving on Tuesday for Kenya and who knows when I will see her again.... work totally gets in the way of everything!
But the good news of today is that I realized that I never ever want to have a job that I hate. I mean, I know everyone wants that... but I want a job that I love. I cant imagine going to work at some stupid desk job every day where you do basically the same thing and its meaningless. I like working at the hospital, its fun, and I really like trouble shooting the instruments, even if I want to throw them out the window sometimes... and I enjoy the interaction with doctors and nurses and patients and other med techs... but really, I want something that I LOVE. I realized today that while student teaching, although it was a full time job, it never felt like a job. Just like camp never feels like a job or something that I HAVE to do... like singing, its something I love to do, and working with kids totally rocks. I wish there was a job that combined the following: kids, psychology, applied science, counseling, microbiology, and singing. I guess being a teacher is as close as its going to get.
I never want a job where I am not learning, growing, or refining myself. I never want a job that is isolated. I never want something that is menial. I want something that I can throw myself into, that I enjoy doing.... something I would do even if I wasnt getting paid. Hot air ballooning was like that.... camp is like that, I certainly dont get paid to be a chaplain.... student teaching was like that.
I saw one of my students at Regal the other night... I talked to him... and it was so strange... here I am, out with my friends, my peers, but automatically you flip into something totally different. I am still me when I teach, I still pick on them and berate them and say sarcastic things... but there is something that switches when you are in teacher mode. Maybe its absence of self. When you are teaching, I think you never think about yourself. I mean, you do in the beginning... but then you get consumed with how well they are learning, if they understand you, if they are excited, if they hunger. I think thats probably like being a parent too... you forget about yourself for your children. You want for them, and at the end of the day, when everything you have done has been for someone else, then you breathe and you are exhausted, but happy. And I want that.
I dont know, this post is all over the place and probably way too long... just lots of things I am thinking about today, since its so boring here.... its 8:57. 2.5 more hours. in that time I will make 67 bucks. I guess I dont mind sitting on my butt for that...
I got to work at 6:30. Around 11, we finished all of the morning work... and we sat the rest of the day. Now most people would be pleased to sit around reading People Magazine and surfing the web while getting paid lots of money. I am not one of those people. Given my lack of sleep, sitting around was/is dreadfully boring and it makes the already long day drag.
Then I went to lunch. Actually, i raced to lunch, only to hear the door click shut as I rounded the corner. I raced to the other door and went in. I used to think that the ladies in the caf were nice... but in reality, they are all bitter middle aged women who work in a cafeteria. A choice job? Not exactly. So anyway, they have already put away all of the main dishes... not that I ever get them anyway because they suck AND they are expensive. So I get a salad. Suprise. I always get a salad. I walk back to get an overpriced chicken finger the size of my pinkie to find them already gone into the trash. The trash! She couldnt wait one more second until I finished making my selection to throw them away!!! So then I go to pay... the first thing the lady says is Where did you come from? As if I were WT or something or that I didnt belong there. She gives an exasperated (and exaggerated) sigh because she has to
So that was lunch...
The day moved on.... so far on this shift (my second one, still in chemistry) I have gotten chewed out by a co-worker for something that is not my problem and got one of our computers infected with spyware.
Now the thing that is ultimately annoying here is that we do not have admin rights... well of course, that makes sense.... but I could FIX the infernal computer if I was allowed access to certain things. But do I? no. So I had to turn the computer off and turn myself in. I have gotten in trouble before for being online... but this time it wasnt my fault. I bought the new foo fighters cd and ive had the song D.O.A. stuck in my head and I wanted to look up the lyrics. Who knew a stupid lyrics page would bring down a whole freakin computer? Annoying. Very annoying.
Lets see... what else is annoying me? Oh, my friend Alex called this morning... but I did not listen to the message. So when I finally had time, the message said he was at the hospital with his mom and he wanted to come see me if I was working. ARG. I havent seen or spoken to the kid in almost a year and it wouldve been awesome to see him, if only for a few minutes. Alex is like one of 4 people that I actually care to keep in touch with from PSU.
On top of other annoyances today, I cant play any games on the computer cuz they have all been blocked. Obviously we have had many internet issues before. Stupid people! If you can edjucate them about computers then you wouldnt have to block everything that is awesome like inkblot at shockwave.com. OH! And its freakin COLD in here. Right now I am wearing a t shirt and kinda baggy khakis that are pretty thin. I AM SO COLD! I know I am complaining right now... I know its annoying. If you have read this far, you definitely deserve kudos. Like the granola bar kind.
And so its 8:47pm and I have quite awhile left to go... and tomorrow I go to the chiropractor again and work again. My room is a disaster area, it should be quarrentined... and I havent even begun to learn Ave Maria for my cousins wedding on Sat. Not even! And Josh is done school, and I want to hang out with him... not to mention Ethan being home, or Andrea leaving on Tuesday for Kenya and who knows when I will see her again.... work totally gets in the way of everything!
But the good news of today is that I realized that I never ever want to have a job that I hate. I mean, I know everyone wants that... but I want a job that I love. I cant imagine going to work at some stupid desk job every day where you do basically the same thing and its meaningless. I like working at the hospital, its fun, and I really like trouble shooting the instruments, even if I want to throw them out the window sometimes... and I enjoy the interaction with doctors and nurses and patients and other med techs... but really, I want something that I LOVE. I realized today that while student teaching, although it was a full time job, it never felt like a job. Just like camp never feels like a job or something that I HAVE to do... like singing, its something I love to do, and working with kids totally rocks. I wish there was a job that combined the following: kids, psychology, applied science, counseling, microbiology, and singing. I guess being a teacher is as close as its going to get.
I never want a job where I am not learning, growing, or refining myself. I never want a job that is isolated. I never want something that is menial. I want something that I can throw myself into, that I enjoy doing.... something I would do even if I wasnt getting paid. Hot air ballooning was like that.... camp is like that, I certainly dont get paid to be a chaplain.... student teaching was like that.
I saw one of my students at Regal the other night... I talked to him... and it was so strange... here I am, out with my friends, my peers, but automatically you flip into something totally different. I am still me when I teach, I still pick on them and berate them and say sarcastic things... but there is something that switches when you are in teacher mode. Maybe its absence of self. When you are teaching, I think you never think about yourself. I mean, you do in the beginning... but then you get consumed with how well they are learning, if they understand you, if they are excited, if they hunger. I think thats probably like being a parent too... you forget about yourself for your children. You want for them, and at the end of the day, when everything you have done has been for someone else, then you breathe and you are exhausted, but happy. And I want that.
I dont know, this post is all over the place and probably way too long... just lots of things I am thinking about today, since its so boring here.... its 8:57. 2.5 more hours. in that time I will make 67 bucks. I guess I dont mind sitting on my butt for that...
posted by FireWithin at 8:28 PM
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