Nanny
Jon's paternal grandmother, Nanny, passed away on January 26th. You can see her obit here.
I do not remember the first time I met Nanny, but I do remember the first, and only, time I was at her house in Connecticut. It was the first time Jon took me to Maine with his family, the summer between our Freshman and Soph years of college. We stopped by and I think slept over en route. I do not recall much from the visit except that there were a lot of plants, the stairs were narrow, and a vaguely remember ugly carpet.
She moved to PA about 6 (8??) years ago. Since then, we have spent many birthdays and holidays with her. She has been an integral part of Nicol celebrations.
It has been a rough road though, particularly the past two years as her mobility and mental health declined. She had good days and bad days. Her last really good day was on Christmas. Jon and I went to see her, along with Jon's parents. She was awake, alert, and even cracked jokes. It was really great to see her like that, and it was also the last time I saw her at all.
After that, her mental health got much worse and her doctor's took to sedating her to keep her calm instead of confused and anxious. Hospice decided to take her off of her medications and as her physical body prepared to pass, she stopped eating. Jon and his sisters were able to see her the evening before she died, though she was sleeping, it was hard on all. The following day, she died, and again the family went to visit her and pray for her.
In some ways, her passing was a relief. Nurses and the chaplain at her nursing home said that in her final days, she started to see her husband, who went before her, along with her mother and sister. It has been heart-breaking for Jon's dad to watch her age, as well. Like my own grandfather, it was just the right time, and leaving this existence was the best situation.
The first service was on Friday, at the nursing home. A few of her friends at the home came, and the chaplain there did a really fantastic job. She spoke of how vibrant Nanny was and how she drew people to her with her vitality. I wish I had gotten to see that side of her when she was alive, but I know the memory burns strong in Jon and his sister's minds. Elyza was crawling all over the place and Theo did a pretty amazing army crawl across the room, but those were the only distractions. We sang How Great Thou Art, which apparently always brings me to tears. It is just an emotional song... for me tied up in memories of my wedding, my grandparents, funerals, and some other things.
That evening, it took an hour to get home in ridiculous snow. On Sat, we were snowed in and because of the amount of snow we had, the funeral at church had to be moved to Sunday. Overall, it worked out, because it allowed everyone a bit more time to get ready and for the funeral to be what Jon's dad wanted it to be. I think not quite as many people came as expected due to the weather, but there was a strong showing of support for the family.
I think the hardest part for Jon's dad is that he really does not have a lot of "original" family left. I mean, he has us, and he has two cousins, but both of his parents and his aunt and uncle are gone. That is just very difficult for anyone. I am hoping that he gets some time to really absorb it all and grieve. It is tough to do that with 4 little kids running around the house. :)
Anyway, her passing went well, if you could say that? Everyone got to see her before she died, and everyone got to celebrate her life in the way that they wanted to. A happy, temporary ending. She is out there.
I think one of the most interesting parts of this tale have to do with Tait. He is 5. I was working on a picture board for the ceremony and Tait told me that he missed Nanny. I said, Well, you know she is there with you, and watching you, and loving you. He goes, Yeah, I know.
Later, we were reading a book about volcanos and tube worms near undersea vents. He said that one of them looked like it was dead, like Nanny. I asked Tait if he thought that tube worms went to Heaven. He thought quite a bit about this and said, maybe there is an undersea cave Heaven where tube worms go when they die. He is adorable.
I do not remember the first time I met Nanny, but I do remember the first, and only, time I was at her house in Connecticut. It was the first time Jon took me to Maine with his family, the summer between our Freshman and Soph years of college. We stopped by and I think slept over en route. I do not recall much from the visit except that there were a lot of plants, the stairs were narrow, and a vaguely remember ugly carpet.
She moved to PA about 6 (8??) years ago. Since then, we have spent many birthdays and holidays with her. She has been an integral part of Nicol celebrations.
It has been a rough road though, particularly the past two years as her mobility and mental health declined. She had good days and bad days. Her last really good day was on Christmas. Jon and I went to see her, along with Jon's parents. She was awake, alert, and even cracked jokes. It was really great to see her like that, and it was also the last time I saw her at all.
After that, her mental health got much worse and her doctor's took to sedating her to keep her calm instead of confused and anxious. Hospice decided to take her off of her medications and as her physical body prepared to pass, she stopped eating. Jon and his sisters were able to see her the evening before she died, though she was sleeping, it was hard on all. The following day, she died, and again the family went to visit her and pray for her.
In some ways, her passing was a relief. Nurses and the chaplain at her nursing home said that in her final days, she started to see her husband, who went before her, along with her mother and sister. It has been heart-breaking for Jon's dad to watch her age, as well. Like my own grandfather, it was just the right time, and leaving this existence was the best situation.
The first service was on Friday, at the nursing home. A few of her friends at the home came, and the chaplain there did a really fantastic job. She spoke of how vibrant Nanny was and how she drew people to her with her vitality. I wish I had gotten to see that side of her when she was alive, but I know the memory burns strong in Jon and his sister's minds. Elyza was crawling all over the place and Theo did a pretty amazing army crawl across the room, but those were the only distractions. We sang How Great Thou Art, which apparently always brings me to tears. It is just an emotional song... for me tied up in memories of my wedding, my grandparents, funerals, and some other things.
That evening, it took an hour to get home in ridiculous snow. On Sat, we were snowed in and because of the amount of snow we had, the funeral at church had to be moved to Sunday. Overall, it worked out, because it allowed everyone a bit more time to get ready and for the funeral to be what Jon's dad wanted it to be. I think not quite as many people came as expected due to the weather, but there was a strong showing of support for the family.
I think the hardest part for Jon's dad is that he really does not have a lot of "original" family left. I mean, he has us, and he has two cousins, but both of his parents and his aunt and uncle are gone. That is just very difficult for anyone. I am hoping that he gets some time to really absorb it all and grieve. It is tough to do that with 4 little kids running around the house. :)
Anyway, her passing went well, if you could say that? Everyone got to see her before she died, and everyone got to celebrate her life in the way that they wanted to. A happy, temporary ending. She is out there.
I think one of the most interesting parts of this tale have to do with Tait. He is 5. I was working on a picture board for the ceremony and Tait told me that he missed Nanny. I said, Well, you know she is there with you, and watching you, and loving you. He goes, Yeah, I know.
Later, we were reading a book about volcanos and tube worms near undersea vents. He said that one of them looked like it was dead, like Nanny. I asked Tait if he thought that tube worms went to Heaven. He thought quite a bit about this and said, maybe there is an undersea cave Heaven where tube worms go when they die. He is adorable.
posted by FireWithin at 2:03 PM
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