A year in the life
I am trying to go forward, not backward... but it is incredible that it has been a whole year since NOT moving to Florida.
So here are some memories made along the way...
Quitting my jobs
Saying good bye
Signing a lease
Getting out of a lease
Everything changing
Disney
Almost puking on the space ride
Being scared and nervous and unsettled
Looking for a job
Interviewing at schools
China
The Temple of Heaven
Everything being different for me
My eyes being opened
Having my heart broken
Getting a job
Teaching
Meeting new people
Being led on
Times with family
Being strong
Making decisions
Finding peace
Smiling again
Utah
Being scared (again)
Laughter
Puppets
Sock fights
Surgery
Pain
Fear
Feeling empty
Feeling content
Florida (again)
Sunsets
Planning things
Resting in God
Trusting
Hoping
And more hoping
I know that I talked about this in March some time... but it really is incredible how fast time has gone. I am not sure if it teaching that makes things go faster or what. I guess technically this is the first time I have really held a full time job for more than a few months. It has absolutely flown by.
I guess it shows me a couple things: that things can become radically different within a short period of time... and if you let time slip away from you, you might not get to do the things you wanted to do.
A good example might be going to the gym. I started going approximately a year ago, and did REALLY well with it... until school started in September. I slowly dropped off, and only in March did I get back to it. After a 5 or 6 month hiatus, I am utterly weak again. My body would be completely different if I had stuck to it in those months. But I didn't, and time slipped away.
I am not particularly worried about not accomplishing things in my life, or not getting done what I want to do... I am pretty confident that it will all happen within good time. And this past year, I have really been taught to rely on God's plan, not my own. That is not to say I am GOOD at relying on His plan... just that I recognize it usurps my own, and no matter what i WANT to do... It is whatever God wants to happen that will ultimately happen.
I had a very strange experience here at the hospital yesterday... and I do not want to go into detail because it was pretty intense and I am still not sure what to make of it. But someone at work told me to keep looking forward and not looking backward... to keep going towards who I am going to be, not who I was.
I appreciated the words, because I think in part it is what I needed to hear.
When I review the past year, I can see me changing and growing a lot - even though there was a lot of trial and pain. Perhaps because of that.
And I have to keep in mind that hope is expectant.... that hope is not a matter of IF, but a matter of WHEN things will happen. I trust where I am right now is where I am supposed to be. I look forward to my future, whatever course it takes.
We shall see. :)
So here are some memories made along the way...
Quitting my jobs
Saying good bye
Signing a lease
Getting out of a lease
Everything changing
Disney
Almost puking on the space ride
Being scared and nervous and unsettled
Looking for a job
Interviewing at schools
China
The Temple of Heaven
Everything being different for me
My eyes being opened
Having my heart broken
Getting a job
Teaching
Meeting new people
Being led on
Times with family
Being strong
Making decisions
Finding peace
Smiling again
Utah
Being scared (again)
Laughter
Puppets
Sock fights
Surgery
Pain
Fear
Feeling empty
Feeling content
Florida (again)
Sunsets
Planning things
Resting in God
Trusting
Hoping
And more hoping
I know that I talked about this in March some time... but it really is incredible how fast time has gone. I am not sure if it teaching that makes things go faster or what. I guess technically this is the first time I have really held a full time job for more than a few months. It has absolutely flown by.
I guess it shows me a couple things: that things can become radically different within a short period of time... and if you let time slip away from you, you might not get to do the things you wanted to do.
A good example might be going to the gym. I started going approximately a year ago, and did REALLY well with it... until school started in September. I slowly dropped off, and only in March did I get back to it. After a 5 or 6 month hiatus, I am utterly weak again. My body would be completely different if I had stuck to it in those months. But I didn't, and time slipped away.
I am not particularly worried about not accomplishing things in my life, or not getting done what I want to do... I am pretty confident that it will all happen within good time. And this past year, I have really been taught to rely on God's plan, not my own. That is not to say I am GOOD at relying on His plan... just that I recognize it usurps my own, and no matter what i WANT to do... It is whatever God wants to happen that will ultimately happen.
I had a very strange experience here at the hospital yesterday... and I do not want to go into detail because it was pretty intense and I am still not sure what to make of it. But someone at work told me to keep looking forward and not looking backward... to keep going towards who I am going to be, not who I was.
I appreciated the words, because I think in part it is what I needed to hear.
When I review the past year, I can see me changing and growing a lot - even though there was a lot of trial and pain. Perhaps because of that.
And I have to keep in mind that hope is expectant.... that hope is not a matter of IF, but a matter of WHEN things will happen. I trust where I am right now is where I am supposed to be. I look forward to my future, whatever course it takes.
We shall see. :)
posted by FireWithin at 12:25 PM
4 Comments:
Hope is such a powerful thing. I've read your writing on and off for the past year and you inspire me to be hopeful :)
Your post made me think of the movie Back to the Future. "Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads."
It is amazing how fast time goes by. I've been noticing that a lot recently - things that seemed to have happened recently really happened a long time ago.
Apparently they might mass market the "Marty McFly high tops". giggle.
Words I live by ..
I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep on running and struggling to take hold of the prize. My friends, I don't feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I struggle for what is ahead. I run toward the goal, so that I can win the prize of being called to heaven. This is the prize that God offers because of what Christ Jesus has done.
Philippians 3:12-14
In Frannie's words: Forgetting the bad behind me, I press on to the good ahead of me.
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