the final letter

Here is what I sent... what do you think?

Dear L & C,

Over the past week I have thought long and hard about the trip to China in October. After considering all sides, I have decided that it would be in my best interest and your best interest as a team for me not to go. I hope that you understand that this decision has nothing to do with either of you personally. You are both wonderful people, and I am excited that you are making this dream a reality for the students.

Because I have been so enthusiastic about this trip, I believe you deserve somewhat of an explanation as to why I am backing out now. There are several factors, but the main one being that I am not comfortable with the level of preparation for this trip. I have been reminded several times to be open with you and to bring issues to the table. So to be brutally honest with you both, if I were a parent, I would not send my child on this trip as it stands right now. I am not a last-minute sort of person, and to me, the tickets and visa arrangements should already be made, or at least specific plans as to when that will occur and who will be doing it. This is just an example of worries I have about this trip, which is only 2.5 months away. Because I would feel uncomfortable sending my own child on this trip, I cannot support other parents sending their children. Frankly, I feel the trip is too soon and too little is known about the specific details.

Upon further analysis, I also strongly felt that I would be going to China as a student rather than a teacher and I would not have many duties there as a supervisor. Not only would I have my own class to worry about, but taking classes and living in a home-stay really made me feel more of a student than a chaperone. Although I would love to go to China as a student, I feel that is not the job I am supposed to be doing and it is unfair to use PALCS for my own personal gain. Believe me when I say that I really want to do it, but that it feels morally wrong.

I sincerely hope that you do not feel this is anything against either of you. Once the program is more established, I would be more than happy to accompany your team and oversee a group of students. In fact, I am greatly interested in staying on the team now and working with you to nail down some of the crucial details, as planning is part of my nature. Of course, it is up to you and I would understand if you decided upon a different person to complete your outfit.

If you would like to discuss any of what I have said, or any of the other (in my opinion) valid concerns I have about the trip, I am willing to sit down with you both and bring them to light. I deeply appreciate that you have invited me on this trip, and I hope that you will consider me again when the time comes.

Appreciatively,

Ericka