metaphorical blankie

So somewhere between twilight sleep and waking this morning, I began dreaming about my blankie being a metaphor for my love life.

I have had my blankie since I was born, and I love it completely and fiecely... too fiercely, apparently. It is full of gaping holes. I still adore it and snuggle it and sleep with it every night, despite the holes. I am not exactly sure when the blankie got the holes... but quite a few years ago, my mom tried to sew them up. They stayed sewn for awhile, but eventually turned into holes again.

This morning, my blankie turned into a metaphor for the people I love.

I think it was a combination of my dad saying that when I date someone, everyone changes, and me being sick and doped up on nyquil. But even when I think about it now, it seems to make sense.


When I love someone, it seems to be too intense... intense enough to hurt the person. Ive never been in a relationship where I have not hurt the other person deeply... like tearing holes in my blankie. And I am willing to hold on, and I never give up loving... but regardless the person is left with these wounds. And often times, it is not up to me to repair these damages... someone else has to do it... but then they come back to me, and I make it a huge hole again.

I dont know, it just seemed to make sense. It is not to say that I think change is bad, or that relationships should be without hurt... both of those statements are silly... but for once I would like to be in a situation where I feel like I am doing good for both me and them. I am tired of complications.





I am at school right now and will be until 7pm. I have a fever and everything feels dreamy. I guess I am going to go try to focus on stuff.