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When I was in 7th grade, we had to make our personal crest in DEEP. I researched various symbols... I recall having a phoenix on it... which is a symbol which still holds meaning with me.

On top of the crest, we had to have a phrase which captured our essence.

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what really described me, and what I really believed.

I came up with "teneo abel ace spes"

teneo ~ to hold on to, to preservere, to persist, to know, to understand
spes ~ hope


Now of course, little 7th grade me did not know Latin.. so this is probably incredibly poor phrasing.

Perhaps it should have been Carpo spes... the more literal translation of "hold on to hope".



Today I am still impressed by my choice of phrases, because it is something I return to again and again. To hold on to hope... to preservere... to KNOW that hope is valid and alive and continues... it is still incredibly important to me.



What to hope for? Good question... perhaps just hoping for the best... hoping for God's will to be made known... hoping for love and happiness and growth and the necessary suffering that all of those things may be but a distant epilogue of.

But the hoping makes the suffering better... and it also makes the ending even better.




I do not even know if this post makes sense. It is abou 9:15 and I am tired both physically and emotionally.


This weekend was fantatic, and I will perhaps write about it later... but it really was a great time. Thank you to Sus and Dave and Jon. :)