the need to write
Often in times of distress, I feel the urge to write... and perhaps a blog is not quite the best medium, as I know people read this... but I am not sure that I care that much.
It was a hard day, plain and simple. Though perhaps a clean break should have been made that day, it wasn't, and today still hurt despite the ebbing of our relationship. My mind keeps going back to the phrase "even though you love someone, it does not mean that they are right for you". It is so incredibly true, and while I try to hold on to the good and forget the bad, I am feeling rather bitter and sad.
Fortunately for me, these feelings will pass quickly. I rationalize with the best of them... but more than that, I find that the need to love and to be full of joy overwhelms the sad times. Thank God for that.
I also thank God for my friends and the people who love me and hold me close when I feel this way. They support me much better than I support myself.
I never really needed people before... and I am not sure that I really do now... but in opening up those feelings and thoughts, I am learning to trust... in that, I know I will learn to need and to rely on people. It is scary, but worthwhile.
I don't know... I really feel like I have an ocean's worth of words to say and to get out... but I think on this one I will mostly have to keep my own council. Thoughts and prayers are much appreciated and, in fact, needed. I just pray that I can continue on the correct path and continue to grow and learn as I have been.
I feel older today... and I feel, in a sense, that I have gained a new understanding of my dad. I would like to go into it... but, again, I need to hold it in awhile longer so it can swirl around and I can get a good handle on it.
If nothing else, I just need prayers and love... love above anything else.
Thanks to Josh, who hung out with me not even knowing how awful today was for me.
Thanks to Les, who let me vent a little bit and is always so wonderfully supportive.
Thanks to Jon, who lets me cry and loves me just the same even when it hurts him to.
It was a hard day, plain and simple. Though perhaps a clean break should have been made that day, it wasn't, and today still hurt despite the ebbing of our relationship. My mind keeps going back to the phrase "even though you love someone, it does not mean that they are right for you". It is so incredibly true, and while I try to hold on to the good and forget the bad, I am feeling rather bitter and sad.
Fortunately for me, these feelings will pass quickly. I rationalize with the best of them... but more than that, I find that the need to love and to be full of joy overwhelms the sad times. Thank God for that.
I also thank God for my friends and the people who love me and hold me close when I feel this way. They support me much better than I support myself.
I never really needed people before... and I am not sure that I really do now... but in opening up those feelings and thoughts, I am learning to trust... in that, I know I will learn to need and to rely on people. It is scary, but worthwhile.
I don't know... I really feel like I have an ocean's worth of words to say and to get out... but I think on this one I will mostly have to keep my own council. Thoughts and prayers are much appreciated and, in fact, needed. I just pray that I can continue on the correct path and continue to grow and learn as I have been.
I feel older today... and I feel, in a sense, that I have gained a new understanding of my dad. I would like to go into it... but, again, I need to hold it in awhile longer so it can swirl around and I can get a good handle on it.
If nothing else, I just need prayers and love... love above anything else.
Thanks to Josh, who hung out with me not even knowing how awful today was for me.
Thanks to Les, who let me vent a little bit and is always so wonderfully supportive.
Thanks to Jon, who lets me cry and loves me just the same even when it hurts him to.
posted by FireWithin at 10:21 PM
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