You may not like what i have to say...

Since the end of Sept, Jon and I have been teaching Sunday School at his parent's church. Week 1 started out pretty slow with just 2 8th graders.... but as we got into it (and as they realized they actually like us), we ended up with a pretty consistant following.

For the most part, this has been pretty low-commitment. We show up at 9:45 on Sunday, teach the curriculum du jour, and are out of there around 11 to go merrily on our way. Although the adults try to get us into the church service, and the high school sunday school teacher to the "young adults group" on Friday nights (who thought THAT would be a good idea?!), we have mostly rebuffed their advances and stuck to what we want to do.

Today, on our way home, we were discussing what the appropriate level of participating is for us, if we are to continue being Sunday School teachers.

Here is the thing: the kids freakin love us, for whatever reason, and they actually LIKE coming to Sunday School. No idea why. But that is not really the important part. The important part is that they have not had a solid commitment in youth education in years. No one wants to work with them for some reason, most especially the middle school set. When Jon recalls his own experience with Sunday School, he mostly remembers "hanging out" - not actually learning anything. Conversely, our students are asking really deep meaningful questions like, "If you are depressed and lonely and want to be closer to God, why is suicide so bad?" They have complex ideas like, "I am tired of asking forgiveness and seeing nothing in return." These kids may very well be 13, but they have a lot on their minds, and I love that we have been given the chance to help them probe those concepts.

So the problem is this: we do not support the church. In particular, we do not support the pastor, nor how the place is run. We do not get anything out of the sermons. We do not know the people who are running the educational stuff, but what we have seen so far raises a lot of concerns. Yet, here we are with a great group of kids who are looking to us as roll models.... so what do you do? Do you become more involved in a church you do not support, hoping that you are able to change it... or do you take a stand by staying out of it?

Next week, I have been invited to come speak with the high school group about science and faith. (Ne'er the twain shall meet?!) Apparently the guy who leads that group has been having some major major issues. Its like North and South Korea in there. Some kids are hardcore science and some are hardcore faith with no real intermediates. Being so polarized, their discussions often hurt feelings and get very passionate. Not exactly the kid of environment I like to encourage. Anger only polarizes further and consideration flies right out the window. That kind of situation encourages people not to think, only to show that they are right.

In fact, today, they somehow got into the very heavy discussion of homosexuality. Some kids (apparently) showed disgust and disdain for homosexuals. Other kids felt it was not a choice, but a creation of God. How do you explain that? How do you even know WHAT to believe? Personally, I feel that who you love is not a choice, it is decided by God. You are born that way. In the same way, I believe that my husband was always my husband, I just did not know it until I was ready. He was made for me and I for him and all of the things we have gone through (including the sins, the pain) were used to mold us into people who were right for each other. But then you get into a prickly situation: can God create an imperfection? Or is that free will? If a baby is born gay, can being gay be a sin? And if being gay is a sin, then you would have to assume God could not MAKE someone that way, and then you would revert back to free will. So complex.

Anyway, apparently a lot of feelings were hurt and some of the kids left VERY upset. The poor things. It is what we call in teaching cognitive dissonance. Not a bad thing, but too much is stressful on young minds, and it kind of makes them do a mini explosion.

So I am slating next week to talk with them about science. About evolution. Now being a Biology teacher, I can honestly say that I do not teach anything I do not personally agree with. I also have to state that I am not allowed to teach everything I agree with because not everything fits within a science classroom.

Often, my students will write to me with a question like, "How did that stem cell know to become an ear cell?" or, "Is love really just serotonin and oxytocin?" And I say to them that science can only answer questions that have evidence that can be studied. Why a nerve cell is physically able to conduct electricity, I can explain, but I cannot explain why or how that electricity MEANS anything. I tell them that science can often explain the HOW, the mechanics, but it cannot often exlpain the WHY, the meaning. The meaning of life cannot be explained by science. Why is good so good and bad so bad? No idea. Not scientifically anyway.

And so next week, I believe it is expected of me to go in and debunk science. I think they (the leadership at church) think I am going to come in and say that homosexuality is a sin, God made the earth in a week, the dinosaurs are a lie, and Darwin can go poop in his hat. And it ain't gonna happen. They are not going to like what I have to say.

I am not convinced that Christianity is "IT" - that you cannot commune with God in other ways. I think it works, absolutely, and I personally believe it. But just like there are other languages, I think God speaks to different people in different ways. Do I believe the Earth is young? No. I believe it is billions of years old. God gave us science, God gave us knowledge (or maybe the Devil did, you can work that one out for yourself). Am I a Bible literalist? No. How do I know what "one day" is for God. Does it even matter? How do I know that what God did on the first "day" did not actually take millions of years? I don't. But I can see evolution and see global warming and see all the evidence with my own eyes and touch it with my hands.

Can I see God and touch Him? No.

And that is the point - you are not supposed to.

Faith is required. Faith is believing what you cannot see. It is trusting with your heart despite the fact that God will (likely) never knock on your door and ask if he can hang out and play some video games and maybe save you in the process.

I think of relationships.... the girls who always want their boyfriends to prove their love and devotion. Buy me flowers. Get me presents. Say nice things to me. Take me out. When those are the requirements to trust that you love someone and they love you, the relationship will ALWAYS end. Why? No faith is involved. When you constantly need concrete proof with your eyes, things fall apart. The truth of the matter is that truth is not based on matter. (Clever, right? Ha!) The truth of life is based on believe, on feeling, on faith, and we are nothing without it.

So yes, I agree with the scientific perspective of evolution. Yes, I think it happened like that. But I also think God is behind it all in a way that my little brain cannot comprehend. And I am okay with that. I do not need to know. And it may seem like a cop-out, but it isn't. It has taken me a long time to find peace in this as I struggled to find the answers. But I have faith that when I die, I will "know as I am known". I will understand how everything fits together in a way that my soul, shackled by my human body, cannot grasp just yet.

But how do you make this clear to a teenager? How do you present this to a child who need the concrete? How do I prevent their little minds from blowing up... or from being dismissive, which really is just as easy.

Ultimately, I am not sure, and in part I am just going to have to wing it and hope that my knowledge of science and my faith in God (and God's ability to use people to His purpose) is enough.


But yeah.... I do not think the church leaders are going to like it all that much. I think they want someone to come in with the big guns and prove to the kids that they should believe 100% literally everything the Bible says. I cannot do that. I do not want to do that. I want them to question, I want them to wonder, and, above all, I want them to feel comfortable seeking out the truth. As long as they are doing that, I am sure they will find it.