pooping at work

Seriously, pooping at work is one of the worst things ever.

First of all, we have a very "school-like" bathroom at the office. It has 2 stalls and 2 sink and NO privacy. I think we have another bathroom, but it is really far away... so pretty much every woman at my school uses these two particular stalls... the chances of finding the bathroom empty is rare.

Sometimes you go into the stall just to pee. No problem.... between college and China, I am mostly over my fear of peeing within earshot of anything with, well, ears. But sometimes you go into the stall... and all of a sudden.... you have to go number 2 also.

So I think from here you have a few options
1) If no one is in there, push as hard as you can to get it out as fast as you can before anyone else comes in
2) If someone is in there, hold it and wait til they leave
3) If the toilet next door has just been flushed or someone is making noise, gently push and try to make as little noise as possible, hoping it will be covered by whatever noise the other person is making



I do not think guys have these issues.



Anyway....
it seems to me that whenever you go into the bathroom just to pee, there is no one in there... but if you go in because you have to poop, there is ALWAYS at least one more person in there, if not 2 people waiting to do their business. How frustrating!


There is also the problem of quickness. If you can poop quickly and effeciently, you can cover it in the time it takes to pee, and no one knows any better....

But if you have issues....

Like, um... say..... ME....

Then it might take you a little while longer. And one of the most embarassing things is if several people go in and out of the stall next to you while you are pooping. Why is this embarassing? I have no idea. Everyone poops. But it is. And if this happens, then you have to wait until everyone leave before you can come out of the stall. Its the walk of shame.... but... a little bit different than the usual connotation.



And then you have the added issues of
1) What if it is a really farty poop?
2) What if it stinks?
3) What if I have diarrhea and need to poop several times in one day?



I do not even know. These questions are about as difficult to solve as world peace. There are plenty of options, but nothing really does the trick, except to stay home that day.


Some people, myself included, tend to poop at a specific time every day. No, do not ask me when that is, I do not want to tell you. But suffice it to say that it is during my work day. Theoretically, if I "hold it" a little bit longer than I want to every day, then I can probably change this time to a more convenient one. For example, in high school, my time was around 4. This was good because I would get home and immediately run to my own private porceline throne to do what I had to do. The problem: I stayed after school a lot. The solution: find a potty far away from wherever you are, go quickly, and run back to whatever you are doing

So anyway, I think I am going to try this... There is no really good way to make the time earlier, I think you can only push it back later. I dont want to hurt myself or anything!!!



Wish me luck and in the meantime, feel comforted that everyone poops, everyone poops at work, and pooping at work is awful.