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the fam

the view from Jupiter peak, 9250 ft.

me

Since coming home on Monday night, things have been up and down. I am tired, my face is wind burnt and rub burned... so i am constantly picking it.... Emotionally I am up and down, though whether its the hormones or just plain old life, I am unsure.

Today has been a better day than expected, but I am still aching in multiple ways. Sometimes when I am in the best of moods, it seems to hit the hardest.


Ah well.



I gave my students a microbial disease project, which was due yesterday. I have spent most of today printing them out so that I can grade them. I have been, for the most part, extremely pleased with the results. Even the kid who does NOTHING (literally) in my class turned in a very good powerpoint. This project grabs everyone, usually... who is NOT interested in learning about tetanus if they have the option?

So that is a small victory today, and I am content with it.



The next few weeks are going to be rather busy... on Sat, I have organized a group to do GoodWorks, the local equivalent of Habitat for Humanity. I am hoping more people are willing to come out because a few people had to cancel due to family obligations. Its really hard to get people to wake up early on a Sat and work all day for free.... even when it is for a fantastic cause. I don't get it, because I feel like there is so much more that I could be doing with my time... there are so many more productive things than sleeping in a few hours. But that is just me, I am not trying to guilt you or anything.


On Sunday, I will be able to attend church for the first time in 3 weeks, and I am looking forward to it. I missed most of 1 Peter, and he is now delving into 2 Peter... so hopefully I will be able to catch up. I am told he has been moving at a lightening pace, so we shall see. It will be lonely, and I got more used to going to church with someone than I realized. Shrug.


Also on Sunday I have to travel to Harrisburg after rehearsal in order to proctor PSSAs on Monday and Tuesday. I am not really looking forward to it. In fact, I am pretty darned bitter about it. But I have friends who are going in my group, so it will be fun to spend time with them outside of school.


So that knocks out bible study on Monday, which really stinks, because we have not had bible study the past two mondays, and I was looking forward to it. Bible study, like church, has kind of integrated itself into my life, and I miss it more than I thought I would when I do not have it. Strange how that works.


Next Wednesday is THE Hallmark Holiday, and I do not have plans... aside from class, which happens to fall on Wednesdays. No, I do not plan on wearing red or pink.


Another good thing: my fetal pigs came today. Hopefully next Thursday or Friday I will tape a dissection. I am definitely looking forward to that. I also got great dissection instruments in the mail... me + sharp objects + dead animals = fun time.


Don't be scared.



The week after THAT, we have off on Monday (yay), and then on Wednesday the science dept will be flying out to Pittsburgh and meet with our students... I will be dissecting more pigs with them. I hope that my students can make it... I think it will be a lot of fun.

Then Thursday, Friday, and Sat is the first PAPA concert... should be... interesting. Anyway, there are some grand plans out on the table, so we shall see if any of them come to pass.


The weekend after that is my laparoscopy. :( I am scared, to be honest, and despite my fascination with diseases and my adoration of dissection... I do not particularly want to be involved in them personally. I realize that its a perfectly common procedure and all that good stuff... and I dont need to be told to think rationally or think positively or anything like that. I want to be comforted, and when it happens, I want to be taken care of. I do not need a solution, I just need some hugs and holding and loving words. Is that too much to ask?



So, things will be rather busy for awhile... and it will be March. February, though just beginning, is already moving quickly. Thank goodness, too, because only time can put distance between me and the things that tear at my heart and mind.



I am not sure why this song, or why today... but it feels like it fits.


Reflection ~ Blackthorn

(a)
It was just the other night
I came across a staggering sight
A fellow headed straight for me
A tall man with a lot to say

We talked until the break of day
And much to my dismay
He comes from the same town as me
It's funny how he looks like me

At the time I could not tell
Who he was, it's just as well


(chorus)
I'm looking at a tragedy
A demon cast a spell upon me
Have I lost my dignity?
It's hard for me to see

I'm looking at a tragedy
A demon will not set me free
Of all the things I can't believe,
I'm looking right at me


(b)
I looked back and then I stared
At the person standing there
It's amazing that he said
The things that jumped around my head

Should I listen clear?
Or is this craziness I hear?
Is it right or wrong?
I asked again, but he was gone

At the time I could not tell
Who he was, it's just as well

(chorus)

(bridge)
It didn't take too long to find that you were just like me
And now I know who I can call

We were standing face to face
You know the years have gone

But you can't spend your whole life
Looking at me
Looking at you
Wondering what we're gonna do

(chorus)