On having a 1 year old and the things I "should" be doing
My son turned 1 at the end of July.
It sort of snuck up on me, much like he did, much like my adoration and absolute obsession with him did. Suddenly, I have a toddler, when I am not sure I have even processed having a baby!
He has changed so much in one year, and even week to week, we see advances in his language and abilities. It is amazing to watch him grow and know that he came from me, yet was also a gift to me.
Tuck does things in his time. We anticipate him doing certain things, and it seems as if he will never do it, and then he just decides one day that he is going to do it. I try to remind myself to calm down... he will drink fully from cups one day. He will just eat table food. He will sleep! He will look at me and say, "Mama" and know that he is calling my name.
But that is not today.
So I find it difficult when someone suggests that maybe I need to push him more to do these things. Doesn't every parent bristle when someone hints that you are not doing "The Right Thing"?
At daycare, Tuck is sort of stuck in the infant room because he does not:
a) drink milk from a cup (which everyone refers to as a "sippy", which irritates me... sippy cup fine, but just sippy?!)
b) feed himself
I mean, sheesh. He is a year old. He walks and crawls up stairs. He makes his desires known. He points. He turns on and off the lights, he closes and opens doors. He loves to page through books and animals make him laugh with delight. He dances. He does a lot of freaking things... but he also has 2 and 3/4 teeth and prefers pureed food. What do you want me to do?
It is not like we are coddling him. Every day we offer him different foods to eat with his own fingers. He is great with crackers and cereal. He will eat most diced fruit. He likes to try raw veggies, but ends up stuffing the whole thing in his mouth, and without teeth, we are always scooping it back out again. He eats pieces of meat and bread. He likes pizza. Give him an ear of corn and watch out!!! I mean, that is a lot of stuff he shoves into his mouth on his own.
Sorry if he cannot eat the sloppy joe you want to offer him for lunch.
Today, one of the administrative women said that she had to keep him on the infant pricing (the most expensive) because he is not feeding himself completely yet. Fine, I have no issue with that. We talked a bit and I told her we do offer plenty of things for him to feed himself.
Then she said, "Well, if you stopped offering him the other stuff, he would have to eat the table food..." It was not said in a snippy tone, but one that implied that I was essentially babying him. She then told me, "I am sorry to say, but with the first kid, we make all the mistakes because we do not know what we are doing."
Excuse me while I bend over so that you can kiss my derriere!
Yes, I whole-heartedly agree that we really have no clue what we are doing as parents, so the first one gets the brunt of trying things that go down in glorious flames. However, I don't like the insinuation that I am being lax or not doing enough.
Another example involves his teeth. My mom asked me if I was giving him things to chew on. (Sorry mom, I know you read this, and I know you meant no disrespect by it, and it was a friendly suggestion!) Yes, of COURSE I give him stuff to chew on, but I cannot FORCE him to chew... no more than I can force him to pick something off of his try and put it in his mouth, no more that I can force him to drink from a cup when he does not want to drink from a cup.
Tuck will do things in his time, when he feel likes it. In the meantime, I can just offer him what is available. I cannot, in good conscious, allow him to go hungry. It feels wrong to me. I have a good eater, I really do, and he likes slurping up those pouches. He does that on his own too!
So give him some time, and give me a break. My pediatrician told me his goals for the next three months are table foods, milk, and cups. That means I still have 2.5 more months to work on that, and a kid can be really really different in 10 weeks. He will get there, and it is very likely that it will be before I take him back for his next check up. No, I have no idea what I am doing or how to raise a child.... but he is a happy, loving child, and that makes me think that my instincts are not terrible. If he wants to eat mushed up sweet potato, so be it!!!
It sort of snuck up on me, much like he did, much like my adoration and absolute obsession with him did. Suddenly, I have a toddler, when I am not sure I have even processed having a baby!
He has changed so much in one year, and even week to week, we see advances in his language and abilities. It is amazing to watch him grow and know that he came from me, yet was also a gift to me.
Tuck does things in his time. We anticipate him doing certain things, and it seems as if he will never do it, and then he just decides one day that he is going to do it. I try to remind myself to calm down... he will drink fully from cups one day. He will just eat table food. He will sleep! He will look at me and say, "Mama" and know that he is calling my name.
But that is not today.
So I find it difficult when someone suggests that maybe I need to push him more to do these things. Doesn't every parent bristle when someone hints that you are not doing "The Right Thing"?
At daycare, Tuck is sort of stuck in the infant room because he does not:
a) drink milk from a cup (which everyone refers to as a "sippy", which irritates me... sippy cup fine, but just sippy?!)
b) feed himself
I mean, sheesh. He is a year old. He walks and crawls up stairs. He makes his desires known. He points. He turns on and off the lights, he closes and opens doors. He loves to page through books and animals make him laugh with delight. He dances. He does a lot of freaking things... but he also has 2 and 3/4 teeth and prefers pureed food. What do you want me to do?
It is not like we are coddling him. Every day we offer him different foods to eat with his own fingers. He is great with crackers and cereal. He will eat most diced fruit. He likes to try raw veggies, but ends up stuffing the whole thing in his mouth, and without teeth, we are always scooping it back out again. He eats pieces of meat and bread. He likes pizza. Give him an ear of corn and watch out!!! I mean, that is a lot of stuff he shoves into his mouth on his own.
Sorry if he cannot eat the sloppy joe you want to offer him for lunch.
Today, one of the administrative women said that she had to keep him on the infant pricing (the most expensive) because he is not feeding himself completely yet. Fine, I have no issue with that. We talked a bit and I told her we do offer plenty of things for him to feed himself.
Then she said, "Well, if you stopped offering him the other stuff, he would have to eat the table food..." It was not said in a snippy tone, but one that implied that I was essentially babying him. She then told me, "I am sorry to say, but with the first kid, we make all the mistakes because we do not know what we are doing."
Excuse me while I bend over so that you can kiss my derriere!
Yes, I whole-heartedly agree that we really have no clue what we are doing as parents, so the first one gets the brunt of trying things that go down in glorious flames. However, I don't like the insinuation that I am being lax or not doing enough.
Another example involves his teeth. My mom asked me if I was giving him things to chew on. (Sorry mom, I know you read this, and I know you meant no disrespect by it, and it was a friendly suggestion!) Yes, of COURSE I give him stuff to chew on, but I cannot FORCE him to chew... no more than I can force him to pick something off of his try and put it in his mouth, no more that I can force him to drink from a cup when he does not want to drink from a cup.
Tuck will do things in his time, when he feel likes it. In the meantime, I can just offer him what is available. I cannot, in good conscious, allow him to go hungry. It feels wrong to me. I have a good eater, I really do, and he likes slurping up those pouches. He does that on his own too!
So give him some time, and give me a break. My pediatrician told me his goals for the next three months are table foods, milk, and cups. That means I still have 2.5 more months to work on that, and a kid can be really really different in 10 weeks. He will get there, and it is very likely that it will be before I take him back for his next check up. No, I have no idea what I am doing or how to raise a child.... but he is a happy, loving child, and that makes me think that my instincts are not terrible. If he wants to eat mushed up sweet potato, so be it!!!
posted by FireWithin at 12:32 PM
1 Comments:
Tuck is an adorable and smart little boy and just because his timeline doesn't match up with what other people have in their head doesn't mean you or him are doing anything wrong. Forget them and enjoy watching him grow up and learn and discover on his own schedule!
And I love mushed up sweet potato and I'm 32 years old.
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