It has been awhile

I feel like I have slacked off a bit on my blogging, so here is a bit of a catch up...

1) School is out. Thank goodness. At the end of the year, we get evaluations from our department coordinators and mine was kind enough to tell me, basically, that I have looked like hell since December and that I really needed summer break. Okay, he did not use those words, but that is what his inflection said. And he is right. But is it my fault, necessarily? I started out the school year getting married and going on my honeymoon and teaching three courses and finishing up my Masters. It sort of set the tone for the whole year as "always one step behind where you want to be". Plus, the politics at school this year were absolutely ridiculous. For my own mental sanity, I needed to get away.

2) Stupid me signed up for EYP this summer. Basically, I have 35 students who failed the school year who are working (or, in most cases, not) to catch up and pass the courses they should have passed during the year. I guess it is good, because it is extra money, but it does not give me as much of a mental break from school as perhaps I needed.

3) I am back working at the hospital every other weekend, Sat and Sun. Again, money is good... but I guess if I had a choice, it would have been nice to not do it this summer. The hospital budget is not doing so hot, so I cannot fill in as many (or any) hours like I have in previous summers, so I am glad that I have the EYP program to get me a bit extra.

4) Jon and I are going on a cruise to Alaska in August. I cannot wait. We debated over it for awhile because we are house hunting and looking to bid this summer... but honestly, we have other plans in the works for the next few years and I do not really forsee us having the opportunity to travel much. My parents are coming on the cruise as well, and we think Jon's parents will join us too. We have already picked our excursions - in Ketchikan we are zip lining in a temperate rainforest, in Victoria we are going to visit Butchart Gardens, and in Juneau we are going DOGSLEDDING and taking a HELICOPTER RIDE! Hello, cool!

5) House hunting. Going okay. I suspect the market is picking up a bit, I am seeing less online. We are probably bidding on a townhome that we like, though today we are going to go see another that I suspect we will also like and will be a good investment property for us. :) I guess we are getting closer and closer to making that a reality. We are in a pretty good position to buy now, so hopefully we will find the right place!

6) I have been reading a LOT. Nothing all that earth-shattering. My friend gave me the Mortal Instruments trilogy by Cassandra Clare. It was REALLY good - especially if you liked House of Night or the Twilight series. It is along the same vein. I recently ordered the Sookie Stackhouse series (what True Blood is based on) and started reading that. It is pretty darn good. :)

7) This summer is pretty empty wedding-wise. We have Jon's cousin Jeremy on July 11th in NY. In Oct we have Les and Ben. Then, on New Years, we have Mike and Mary. Quite a difference from the 14 weddings last summer. It is kinda nice to have just a few special weddings to go to.... but it is definitely not as busy!

8) Project is up and in full swing. I am the membership manager, so I was working hard on that over the past few months since it was my job to send out invites and track people down. www.projectphilly.com is our newly launched website. Our concert is Friday, August 7th, and I hope you come!

9) Lupron...

Lupron has been the singular biggest change in my life in the past few months. I got the shot early May and it has been an interesting journey since.

Lupron is a three month shot that basically throws your body into false menopause. It shuts down your estrogen production to a very low level, taking away menstruation, though you can still ovulate. (In other words, this is not birth control, you can still get pregnant!) In the first two weeks after the shot, your estrogen actually skyrockets before it shuts down to a low level. As I said, its been interesting.

During the first week of the shot, I was in pain. It felt like I had run a marathon - all of the muscles in my legs and butt ached from the shot. It is sort of like how a tetanus shot will make your arm sore. Except worse. During that time, I was also fighting off a pretty wicked cold which had me grounded for a full week. It was a scary time because I had no idea if my symptoms (aches, pains, nausea, general unhappiness) were a result of the shot or just getting over the stupid cold.

Well, I am not sure I will ever find out. It took another week or so after that to really start feeling better. So into week 2 of the shot, I knew my estrogen was riding high (Jon did not mind that so much, if you catch my meaning) and I started to feel better. My birthday came and went. We went to NY for the weekend with Sus and Dave and unborn baby Van. Very fun times. That threw my body off quite a bit because we were eating dinner at like 9:30 at night. So it was a few days for me to recover from that, and then my estrogen started going down.

So this brings us to the end of May/beginning of June. Again, I was scared. The most common side effects of Lupron are hot flashes, night sweats, migraines, and some acne. I was freaked because I am prone to migraines after my period ends (when my estrogen is lowest). I really had no idea what was going to happen, but I knew I would have to live with it for three months.

I am happy to say that migraines are NOT one of the symptoms I got. So so so happy about that. I do have the hot flashes, which is a bizarre experience. I am taking progesterone add-back therapy (oh yeah, Lupron causes bone loss as well) and that has kept the hot flashes pretty low. Its more like I get really warm very easily. For those of you who know me, I am cold nearly all the time. But with Lupron, all of a sudden, I will see the veins popping out on my hands and wrists, and just get super warm. I do not sweat, but its just this internal heat. Kind of like when you wake up in the middle of the night all snuggled under your covers and you realize that you are REALLY really warm.

Sadly, my skin is definitely worse. That is frustrating, but its all hormonally linked, so try as I may, there is not much I can do about that.

I am also sleeping pretty awfully. Fortunately it is summer, so I have the luxury of attempting to sleep in... but at 10 pm I am not tired, even if I have been tired all day, and it takes me awhile to fall asleep. After that, I wake up many times, mostly being too warm. So I assume this is what is meant by "night sweats". I have always been an oven while sleeping (I think my circulation is best lying down, which is why I am actually warm) and now im like... an autoclave. So that sucks. Sleep is elusive, but between 10pm and 8am I am getting enough to be functional.

The other interesting side effect has to do with my excretory/digestive system. I pee a LOT. Like a whole lot. No matter how much I do or do not drink. It is silly. I have no idea why this is happening because I have not changed my diet all that much. I guess it is good for me because before I did not pee very much, but it is definitely strange.

One of my other fears with Lupron is that it would kick up my IBS. Hormonal therapies usually make me REALLY stressed out and crazy... which then causes my IBS to flare up... which leads to a lot of bowel issues. THAT has not happened, which is totally awesome... and instead the opposite has happened. They have actually slowed down. This is bizarre to me because the one thing I could always count on is "going" every day. But now I dont. And I am sorry if that is too much information, but when I was looking for information on Lupron and how people were taking it, no one told me this stuff.

So, overall, I have been really pleased with the Lupron. The side effects have been very managable and I did not turn into the psychotic monster I was worried about becoming. The skin, the hot flashes, and even the sucky sleep has all been worth it because I LOVE NOT HAVING MY PERIOD! Dear Lord. You have no idea. It is such a relief to not have to plan my life around the fact that I am ridiculously ill a few days every month. I love that I am not scared to travel or to go away. My body and it's issues have been more of a psychological hinderance than most people realize.

Last year, I had my period at all the worst possible times. I had it over my bachelorette/shower weekend. I had it during my wedding. I had it during our honeymoon. I had it during a friend's shower. Every time I had something important, I could not 100% enjoy it or I canceled because I was in pain and felt like throwing up. I always hated planning events or trips because I never knew if I would be sick. I always hesitated before making any kind of commitment. I hated being involved in something where I did not have an escape route. That includes dinner with friends (what if my ibs flares up?), going to see a movie (what if I feel sick in the middle of it?), and even just hanging out. The last time my ibs flared up, I was supposed to go to a game night with friends. I ended up canceling, and I know that they thought I was just flaking out - that I am bad with keeping commitments. But people do not understand. Its like having this disability that I cannot control, no matter how positively I think, no matter what meds I try, no matter how I try to deal with it.

But now, I am free.

It is such an amazing feeling.

This weekend, I am going up to PSU for the Pennharmonics 15th anniversary. Jon and Josh were both surprised I wanted to go. Heck, I was surprised too. I went to the 10th anniversary, but I have not been to any other concerts or events. But thinking it over I realized... it was not lack of desire to see the Penns or anything... but the fact that I did not want to be "stuck" in state college with the potential of getting sick. But I do not have to worry anymore.

On Monday or Tuesday, I am going to drive to the beach for a day to see my cousins. I could not have done that before.

Over the fourth of July, we are going up to Boston with Les and Ben to see the fireworks and the Pops. Jon has wanted to go for years, but I have always hesitated. I do not have to now.

Lupron has been a God-send. Not only has it helped me feel better (granted, there are still issues), but it has helped me be free to do the things that I have always wanted to do but was too scared to do before. Granted, I have always pushed myself to do stuff, even if I was sick, but I still turned down a lot of things. Now, I can do what I want. Its a beautiful beautiful thing.




So I know this is pretty long. But that is kinda what has been going on and how things are. I plan on making this summer a great one!