!!!

WHOA.

smarties

I think if someone wanted to give me a really good gift, the would buy a bunch of Smarties candy. Then they would go through the little packs and pick out the white ones. Lots of people think that Smarties do not have different flavors, but trust me, they do. White ones are the best tasting. So if someone really wanted to do something nice for me, they would give me a bunch of white Smarties that they gleaned from the packs. I probably would not mind so much that they had their fingers all over them - I like white Smarties that much. I am not saying that someone in particular should be trying to curry favor with me, I am just saying it cuz I like white Smarties and it would be a nice thing to do.

2nd Thankgiving

Well, I was told by Tim that I needed to blog about 2nd Thanksgiving, as if I wouldnt anyway... but here it is.


Yay 2nd thanksgiving! To be honest, I am not sure how many years we have done this... But I think the first year was freshman year of college... if thats true and we have not missed a year, that means this was our 7th annual 2nd Thanksgiving at Tims! Ugh, that makes me feel old.

Fortunately, the conduct of the participants of 2nd Thanksgiving did not make me feel old. :)

The partygoers: Tim, Laura, Lauren, Dave, Dr. Moll, Mrs. Moll, Nancy, Dan, Michelle, Jeff, Jenny, Leslie, Ben, Jon, Jon, and me

The partypoopers: Vicki, Paige, Brian, Jenn, and Aaron


Dinner kicked off at 6.... oh wait, no it didnt, because in our typical fashion everyone kind of arrived late. But thats okay, more time for socializing and whatnot. Jenny and Nancy and Dan got to go see Paige, Brian, and their baby girl Lea who was born on Tuesday. Everyone said both parents looked exhausted but happy and Lea was adorable. :)

Dinner was excellent in typical Tim fashion... actually, we are going to blame it all on Tims mom who does a TON of work to have us all over. I know she enjoys having us there, but she does almost all of the work, especially the cleaning up. It was great to see her too.

After dinner and coffee and dessert, we played UH UH!!!!! and then a round of Celebrity. Overall, it was a lot of fun and really great to see everyone and enjoy company. This year was a little low on participants with so many people marrying off and moving out of state... but I am predicting in 5 or 6 years, it should be a pretty big rowdy group with not only significant others, but little kids! Crazy how times change. Its so wonderful to keep growing with my friends and seeing them move into their own lives. Its just really good. :)


So that is 2nd Thanksgiving... we talked a lot about old times (as usual) but the extras did not seem to mind so much. Either they have heard the stories so much that they can relate and remember them as if they are their own, or we are just so crazy and animated that they get a kick out of watching us crack ourselves up.

Oh... and Leslie and I matched, but it worked out because we got to play the Whose Line? game where someone else is your arms. I got to be the arms. I think Jon took video of it, so I will have to see if I can get it up on youtube or something. :) Hehe... It was fun, I laughed so hard that my abs kinda hurt right now as I am typing this. How pathetic is that? Its actually been so long since I have been to the gym that laughing for a few minutes makes my abs hurt.


Anyway, I had a great 2nd thanksgiving and a pretty good weekend aside from that... spent lots of time with Tait (sp?) and Mattea, I think moreso than anyone else, to be honest... and it was good to play with them. Keeps me sane and gives me hope that maybe one day I really could be a mom and not be horrendous at it.

And tomorrow.... grading papers. lots and lots and lots of papers. sigh.



sweet dreams!




(and yes I love my wifi Tim, shaddup)

blankie

I am not sure what possessed me to write about this... but here it goes anyway.


I have a blankie. I sleep with it every night. It is as old as I am, full of holes, and the satin is all but worn off from the edges. And when I say full of holes, I mean that I could not wrap it around me without exposing something indecent. Believe me, I have tried.


Out of boredom, I swear!


Anyway, I sleep with my blankie. I snuggle up to it and burrow my face in it. I make it long and thin and I put it over my eyes in the morning when I wake up but do not want to be awake just yet. I inhale deeply when I take it out of the dryer and rub it against my skin.

And you know what, I do not care that I am 25 years old and sleep with it.


There was a time, however, when I felt a bit ashamed of the blankie. I am not sure when it was... My first instinct is to say 4th grade... but I think perhaps it was some time in junior high. It is not that anyone was picking on me or anything, I just felt for some reason that I should prove that I did not need it.

So I pinned it to the wall.


Yeah, that is right, I pinned it up on the wall of my bedroom, sad holes, strings, decrepit satin and all. It stayed there for about 2 years.


And I was right, I did not need the blanket. I slept just fine without it, nothing really changed as far as that goes... but after awhile, I realized something...


I might not have needed the blanket, but I wanted the blanket.

I took it down off the wall and have been sleeping with it ever since.




You do not need everything you have in life, but sometimes you want it because you love it. It is a pleasure to want something and be able to have it... to want to snuggle with your blankie and to be able to. If you did not have it, you would not be worse off... but because you DO have it, you can enjoy those moments of happiness when the worn fabric presses against your cheek. I think it is one of the simple pleasures in life... to have a blankie, and to snuggle with it. Kids totally have the right idea about things sometimes.

the strangest things can make your day

I had written a pretty long post, but then my lappy went nuts, so here is the abbreviated version...

Yesterday was awesome because
1) I got Matt's cd in the mail. Its really good. Check him out on myspace music at Underthecoverofautumn. Buy it.
I basically think it was great because it was really personally inspiring. Matty has been working on this cd forever, and though I have known him for only a few years, I know it has been a lifelong dream to put his music out there. Well, it is out, and it is great. It is a very personal cd... whether it feels personal to me because I know him and I know some of the background to his songs... or just because it IS, I dont know. I think it is a very honest cd, and it is easy to tell his heart is in it. I hope that you all get a chance to check it out.

2) Awhile ago I posted the clip of me singing Into The West over the summer with Project Philly. You can see it HERE if you want to. Anyway, I get random comments on it from time to time, and it makes me feel pretty good. So yesterday, right after I started listening to Matt's cd which was inspiring me to sing, I got an email through youtube from an independent film maker. Random enough, he came across me singing and asked if I would be interested in singing the end credits song to the film he is currently directing/producing.
Skeptical, I email him back... and we have had some correspondance since... and he kinda sounds legit. I am doing my best not to get too excited. But it would be so neat! He said I could write the song or generate ideas for the lyrics once he sends me the screenplay in January. He mostly sounds legit because he did NOT ask me to come to North Carolina, where he lives. He said if there was a way, I could just record up there. So it kind of sounds like this guy is both serious and real.
Again, I am trying to not get too excited over it all... But the other day I was in visiting Jenn at her work and there was a cd for the Novair 2000, which I did the voice over for. I do not know if it is on the cd or if they did it over using someone else or whatever - but I thought it was sooo cool that my voice was on a cd that is sent out to companies and stuff. And yes, this is an independent film, but how cool would that be if it was ME singing the end credits...
So hopefully this will all come to pass...

I just think it is really neat that I got something so inspiring and awesome from Matt and then someone contacts me about singing for a movie. Honestly, even if it was just some kid making a movie for his film class, I would still love to do it. So we will see. :)

wireless internet, you are so cool

Well, I finally bought a wireless router. That would be rowter... not rooter. I will do my best to say it rowter, but I guarentee that I will still say rooter in my head. And reecies peecies.

I set it all up on my own... (okay okay, I called in some professional help)

But anyway, an hour later, I had everything hooked up and configured the way it needed to be. And so far so good, I have "excellent" connection in my room and no one has tried to steal my signal - yet.

And so far, its AWESOME to have signal in my room. Basically I spend time here sleeping and changing, and thats about it. Nothing extracurricular.... so its just this room that just holds my junk and my bed and im only there when I need to use one or both of those things.... But now I can do something functional in my room. Not that sleep isnt functional.... but working on my laptop is much more functional. So far I have done grading and watched Thank You For Smoking. It is a small step, sure, but at least it is a step.

It has also reinforced my previous notion that kids should never ever ever have personal computers in their room or any other place that is secluded. I am not a porn watcher, but if I was, wireless internet and a laptop would be the perfect combination. My kids are going to have me watching like a hawk.... At least, I hope that I am able to do that.




In other news, VA Beach was a blast, I had a wonderful time... here is a picture of me and Pam. Little sleep was had, the race went well, the weather held off, and overall it was great. :)



That is about all I have to say for now.


Signing off....



from my room!

pooping at work

Seriously, pooping at work is one of the worst things ever.

First of all, we have a very "school-like" bathroom at the office. It has 2 stalls and 2 sink and NO privacy. I think we have another bathroom, but it is really far away... so pretty much every woman at my school uses these two particular stalls... the chances of finding the bathroom empty is rare.

Sometimes you go into the stall just to pee. No problem.... between college and China, I am mostly over my fear of peeing within earshot of anything with, well, ears. But sometimes you go into the stall... and all of a sudden.... you have to go number 2 also.

So I think from here you have a few options
1) If no one is in there, push as hard as you can to get it out as fast as you can before anyone else comes in
2) If someone is in there, hold it and wait til they leave
3) If the toilet next door has just been flushed or someone is making noise, gently push and try to make as little noise as possible, hoping it will be covered by whatever noise the other person is making



I do not think guys have these issues.



Anyway....
it seems to me that whenever you go into the bathroom just to pee, there is no one in there... but if you go in because you have to poop, there is ALWAYS at least one more person in there, if not 2 people waiting to do their business. How frustrating!


There is also the problem of quickness. If you can poop quickly and effeciently, you can cover it in the time it takes to pee, and no one knows any better....

But if you have issues....

Like, um... say..... ME....

Then it might take you a little while longer. And one of the most embarassing things is if several people go in and out of the stall next to you while you are pooping. Why is this embarassing? I have no idea. Everyone poops. But it is. And if this happens, then you have to wait until everyone leave before you can come out of the stall. Its the walk of shame.... but... a little bit different than the usual connotation.



And then you have the added issues of
1) What if it is a really farty poop?
2) What if it stinks?
3) What if I have diarrhea and need to poop several times in one day?



I do not even know. These questions are about as difficult to solve as world peace. There are plenty of options, but nothing really does the trick, except to stay home that day.


Some people, myself included, tend to poop at a specific time every day. No, do not ask me when that is, I do not want to tell you. But suffice it to say that it is during my work day. Theoretically, if I "hold it" a little bit longer than I want to every day, then I can probably change this time to a more convenient one. For example, in high school, my time was around 4. This was good because I would get home and immediately run to my own private porceline throne to do what I had to do. The problem: I stayed after school a lot. The solution: find a potty far away from wherever you are, go quickly, and run back to whatever you are doing

So anyway, I think I am going to try this... There is no really good way to make the time earlier, I think you can only push it back later. I dont want to hurt myself or anything!!!



Wish me luck and in the meantime, feel comforted that everyone poops, everyone poops at work, and pooping at work is awful.

dark v. light

So I have this sort of strange thing. Have you ever heard of the people who can "taste" colors, or "see" sounds? Well when I think of people, I usually feel like they are "dark" or "light". Its not like I can "see their auras", as some people claim to do... they just feel more light or dark to me. I do not know why. Let's have a quick rundown of some friends, shall we?

Jenn ~ dark
Nancy ~ light
Paige ~ dark, but closer to the middle
Jenny ~ light, but little zebra stripes of dark
Leslie ~ light, but close to the middle
Lauren ~ I have a really hard time deciding, but tending towards light, I think
Laura ~ dark, I think
Steph ~ light


So considering that... I thought perhaps it related to innocence... but I do not really think that is it. Maybe it is an intensity??? I dont know. Then I thought perhaps it was just related to appearance (light hair vrs dark and such) but I am sure that is not it, because I feel like Leslie is light. I realize that this is very strange and overall it means nothing.... Its just strange to think about

Tim ~ dark underneath, but seems light at first consideration
Brian K ~ light
Aaron ~ dark
Ben G ~ dark
Ethan ~ dark
Josh ~ seems dark, but actually is light
Jon ~ light
my brother ~ light
Dave N ~ dark, maybe... but maybe light underneath? a hard call.
Ben C ~ light
Brian J ~ light


Some people are very definitively light or dark... a lot of poeple are more middle ground. But then I wonder about couple dynamic. Does it work to have the yin and yang of light and dark... or is it better to have light and light or dark and dark. I think of Jen and Pete from penns... two obviously light people. Then we have Adam and Erin, who are both dark. But I think light and dark can work well also... Paige and Brian obviously fit each other. Does it have to do with disposition? I dont know why I think this way. But yes, I really DO think about this stuff, and I have been thinking about it for awhile... its just hard to put into words. Maybe that is just part of what I absorb about someone when I meet them or whatever.

So what do you think I am?