stuff

I do not have a particular mission for writing today... I suppose just an update will do.

Jon's parents are in Maine this weekend celebrating Grammie's 90th birthday! Yay! She is an amazing woman. We would have gone up, but Jon and I are both kinda pooped from the traveling we have been doing. Next weekend it is up to Mass to celebrate Kris and Krista's wedding. :) Jon and I will be sharing a room / carpooling with Nick and Ian and possibly two other people?

I have to admit, traveling makes me nervous. Not nervous like oh, we are going to crash, or anything like that. But my stupid stomach is so sensitive that I get nervous about whether or not I am going to feel sick. Which, of course, is cyclical... being nervous makes my stomach upset. Grr. But I do not like being at the mercy of other people while I am away. I need my own little comfort zone where I can escape and do what I want to do, when I want to do it. It is a combination of both being like my dad AND feeling sick all the time. Sigh. I actually really worry about becoming some sort of hermit. I see myself backing out of things because I am worried about not feeling well, or I am getting the premonition that I actually won't feel well. Pathetic, I know. It is some sort of psychosis. I really do my best though to get out and see our friends and do stuff. But it really does make me nervous. There is not a time when I am just like YAY, let's go out, and I don't think about how I might feel. Bleh.

Speaking of how I am feeling... yesterday sucked. Jon and I went to bed around midnight on Sat night after having a bunch of people over for kabobs and brats and wii. (Yes, I am still the Dreamstar.) I knew it was *that time*... and for once it actually crept up on me. I knew it was coming soon, but my chest was actually only hurting for like 4 or 5 days, as opposed to the normal week and a half to two weeks. (Sorry, don't mean to be graphic, those of you who are skiddish about female issues!) But yeah... I SWEAR they grow a cup size. I have not had the foresight to actually measure... Maybe I will try this time around. Its ridiculous. And when I have babies... holy cow. My chest is going to be enormous.

ANYWAY!

I was not feeling tip-top, but I think I played hostess well enough. Then Sat... ughhh...

Imagine this: you have a dream where you are in awful pain. Then you wake up.... AND YOU ARE. Not only did I sleep poorly, but I woke up feeling just as yucky as I did in the dream... AND it was only 7:15 in the morning. Fantastic. I took drugs right away, spent some quality time in the bathroom, and then read on the couch until around 10:30 or so when Jon woke up.

For the rest of Sun, I was pretty much borderline crying and fairly miserable. I skipped rehearsal, which I did not want to do. But I knew it was for the best. Blah.

Instead of staying at Jon's last night (his parents are gone til Wednesday!), I came home and got a good solid 11 hours of sleep. Got up this morning, feeling awful again, but finally my advil is kicking in, and as long as I keep that up every 4 hours, I should make it through today and tomorrow I will be feeling MUCH better.

I need to have children for medicinal purposes. Not that that would cause me to HAVE a child right now, I think everyone else being pregnant is fantastic... not my time yet. There are 4 of you "with child" right now, but who knows who you want to tell, so I will keep my mouth shut. Let's just say there will be some round bellies at our wedding. :)

I have also been thinking, recently, that maybe I should try birth control again. I keep seeing commercials for Yaz, which is a different type of hormone... and I wonder if that would keep me from being PSYCHOTIC while on it. Is now, 3 months before our wedding, the time to try hormones again? The last thing I want to do is go crazy this summer.... yet.... if it DID work.... it would be amazing. I dunno.



Let's see, what else....


I am not sure if I mentioned, but Jon booked our honeymoon. Maybe I did? I don't remember.

HERE it is.... VERY EXCITED!!! In Ocho Rios we are going to do the dolphin encounter and Dunn's River Falls. In Grand Caymen we will be doing the snorkel and kayak adventure. In Cozumel, we are probably going to do San Gervasio Mayan Ruins (the short excursion) and then hopefully a caverns tour. Or maybe we will just want to lay on the beach at that point, who knows. :)

We are going to SWIM WITH THE DOLPHINS though!!! I cannot tell you how much I am excited for that part. SO COOL!

I definitely think I am going to have to treat myself to an awesome camera before our wedding. Jon and I have both talked about getting a nice one for some time now. I am not sure what I would like to get, but we have so many fun activities coming up that I would really like to be able to capture accurately.... I think we deserve it. :)



By the way, today is our anniversary. Sort of. It goes a little something like this:
June 23rd, 1999 - Our first kiss, the day we consider to be the start of dating
June 23rd, 2003 - Our fourth anniversary, pretty much when we broke up
Fall/Winter, 2005 - We start talking again
Summer/Fall, 2006 - I try to convince Jon we should be back together, bc we essentially are
Mid-March, 2007 - We "officially" get back together
Feb 15th, 2008 - We get engaged
June 23rd, 2008 - Marks 9 years of being in love with each other?!??!

I am not sure that it could really count as our 9 year anniversary... I mean, it sort of IS, since the original date was the day we had our first kiss. Technically, you could say it is the 9 year anniversary of that.

It is strange to think that there were about 2 years in there when we were not part of each other's lives. I never liked that. Yet, it was necessary... and God has ways we do not always understand. It really was for the best, and we would not be in the awesome place we are now without all of that other experience, learning, and growing.



Also... something else hilarious... on our "theknot" page, Jon posted a picture of us which was right after graduation. We had dinner at Paige's house. We look fairly young in the pic... Well... you compare.

Then:



Now:





The scary part is that we look so much more alike NOW than we did then. For example... Jon and I went to the art museum maybe a year or two ago. We parked, and the guy who took our money (literally, because I think he was scamming, we are not sure that we had to pay for parking at all) asked us if we were brother and sister. Yikes.

Yassara had sent me a very cool article about how and why people who have good relationships start to look more alike as they get older. Interesting stuff. It has to do with empathy and discussion. When you speak with someone who you connect to emotionally, you unconsciously mirror their facial expression. It is so minute that you cannot actually SEE the face, most of the time, but your muscles tense in that position. Over time, as you both use those same muscles, your face is shaped in the same way. Plus, if you are married, or just in a long-term relationship, you are doing the same activities, eating the same food... your body is wearing the same way. Pretty cool, eh?

It is not like Jon and I looked totally foreign to each other back then... but I think we really DO look more alike now, which is a little trippy.


This is long enough I suppose, and you do not need to hear me blather on about this stuff.



On the agenda this week:

Master's Comps Questions. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............

Jury Duty

I admit it - I was excited for jury duty.

I got my summons maybe a month or so ago, and I was kind of anticipating my two days of service. Well, yesterday I was not needed. Instead, I got 12 hours of blissful sleep and after that worked on my masters comps. Which, by the way, is going to be more time consuming than I originally thought.

I was needed today, so I got up bright n early (after getting only 6 hours of sleep, ugh) and was all excited to go.


So what is jury duty like, exactly?

This is how the day ran:

8:30 - arrive, check in, spend 2 minutes filling out some demographic information
8:35 - wait
9:00 - lady seats us in order
9:15 - lady gives us a few rules and regs
9:20 - wait
9:30 - judge comes in to tell us how we are "signing our names on the Constitution every time we sit on a jury". How it is "not a disruption" but rather "one of the most important jobs a citizen can do".
10:00 - judge gets off of his soapbox
10:01 - wait
10:45 - file out and upstairs to the court in order
10:55 - we all rise and are sworn in
11:00 - questioning begins
11:40 - questioning is finished
11:41 - wait while the attorneys are striking names from the panel
12:15 - panel is selected, I am not on it
then - lunch with mom



So that is jury duty. A lot of waiting. A lot of sitting. A lot of older people talking to captive audiences.

Naturally I am not supposed to talk of the trial, but I can tell you it was about a DUI case. Hmm... wonder why ever I would not be picked to be on that jury!!!

I felt sort of bad though... basically in a criminal case, they ask you a bunch of questions about whether you have witnessed crimes, been a victim of crime, had close friends or family commit crimes, etc. It is hard to stand up in front of 60 people and admit, like the girl next to me, that she was a victim of domestic abuse. Or the woman across the row who got a DUI two years ago. Or heck, even me, saying that my dad and brother have both gotten DUIs. I am mostly sure that strickened me immediately. As much as I would like to think I could be fair and impartial, I probably couldnt be.

To be totally honest, as soon as I heard it was DUI case I was like ugh, what an idiot. See, judging right there! The whole time I was like soooooooo how can you bring this to trial? You were drinking, pulled over at 5 am no less, and you are trying to prove your innocence?! Hardly.

But then I saw the guy. He was ready to pee his pants. He looked like a loser, despite the suit, but he looked genuinely nervous. So then I realized that yes, I could be impartial. Yes, I could give this guy a fair trial, even though I have all this negative experience. I did not want to stick it to him, I wanted the truth for him, so that he could either be free or get help. Or both.

Alas, I was not chosen, no shock there. What can ya do?

In the mail, I will get my check for $9 and $.17 cents per mile traveled. Woohoo! If I hadn't have taken my mom out for lunch, I would have made some money today!



Bottom line though, I think it IS a good thing to do... and you shouldn't try to get out of it. I think the justice system IS important and we have to do as best we can to be a part of it.

So there ya have it folks. Stop whining and moaning about jury duty. You are helping condemn or free someone. You are helping the system work. At least the seats are comfy, if none of that appeals to you. And you get to read a lot, if you are into that sort of thing. Yay jury duty!



10:35 - file

whirlwind

Congrats to Brian & Suzanne who got married at White Pines Wedding Canyon in Mount Morris, Il.

The weekend started out on Friday as Jon and I flew into Chicago at O'Hare. Really, the flight was not so bad. We were about an hour delayed due to thunderstorms, but the flight was only about 2 hours and we had a very smooth landing. There were about a bazillion people at the airport, probably delayed due to the same thunderstorms, but overall, O'Hare was not so bad! Their bathrooms were super clean too, which is always impressive in an airport. :)

We picked up our rental car and met up with Jon's former campus minister, Greg. We had some food at IHOP and then drove out to Lake Michigan for a brief stop. After that, we went back to Greg's place and hung out and talked. Greg works with InterVarsity as an upper-level supervisor. He checks in on the campus level minsters at a bajillion schools and makes sure they are okay and doing what they are supposed to be doing!

Les and Ben were delayed 3 hours out of Philly, so we finally got to pick them up around 8. After that, we had a long 2 hour drive past DeKalb (where Brian and Suzanne live) to Dixon, where our hotel was. That evening, we mostly went to sleep, and it was awesome.

The wedding on Sat was at 10. The wedding canyon was really cool... and basically the only 3D topography for miles and miles and miles. And miles. Holy COW is Illinois flat! After the ceremony, we went to the Inn where we had lunch.

In the afternoon, we had "free" time so Les, Ben, Jon and I went to Lowden State Park to see the statue of Black Hawk. We hiked a bit through the woods and got to see a "Harley Davidson Wedding". Yep. The blushing bride was wearing a white halter top and black stretch capris. They had a Harley unity candle. At the end of the ceremony, about 6 Harleys reved their engines while the party let go of black, white, and orange balloons. Way to have a ceremony at a beautiful state park and then pollute it with helium-filled latex balloons and exhaust. Awesome. Guess that is how they do things in Ilni.

In the evening, we went out to dinner with Laura and Tim and Dan, one of Brian's neighbors from Dtown. We basically ordered one of everything that was fried on the menu. Yum. After that, we went back to White Pines and went to a bonfire with everyone. Fun times filled with gourmet s'mores. Mmmm.

We got probably about 5 hours of sleep (not even) and then had to leave at 3 a.m. to drive 2 hours to the airport to be there at 5 for our 7 a.m. flight. Ugh. Jon and I both felt like poop, but we survived to get into Philly around 10 and back to his place by 11.

We made lunch and I put him to bed. Seriously. After that, I played about an hour of Mario Galaxy, which is awesome by the way (thanks Josh!) and then left to come home myself. I think there is some fundamental difference between guys and girls. Most girls just don't nap. Once I am awake, I am awake, for better or for worse. Jon, however, can nap at any ole time. So I let him sleep while I went home and answered emails and did some wedding details.

So that was the weekend... and here are some pics. Enjoy!

summer, finally

Praise the LORD for summertime!

This past week or so has had me at wits-end. In fact, I have not been feeling much like my chipper self. My stomach has been a bit off, but I am proud to report that I have been able to take more "me" time, which I feel like I have not had since, um, 2007.

I think that since I have finally gotten to chill, the way I have been living my life since the start of 2008 has really caught up with me. I am just tired. I am sure a few days of sleep will help... though this weekend Jon and I will be flying out to Chicago for Koch's wedding. Not a good way to get "sleep", but it will be wonderful to see him. Les and Ben, Tim and Laura, and possible John and Maryam will be there??? Should be good times, as long as my body holds up.



Last week was more or less a blur of activity. I can't even really tell you what I have been up to, but suffice it to say that on Friday night I was in bed at 9:30. Sat night found me at work at the hospital... and after some testing, I found out that my iron is, yet again, ridiculously low. I do not know what my problem is and where the iron is going.... but it was rather low. It makes me feel a bit better though since it shows that my physical exhaustion is not something actually wrong, but in part just a lack of iron. :) So, I am back on the "easy iron" and I should be more energetic in no time. And that sleep does help!!


I have a fair amount of my plate these first few weeks of summer. I need to start working on the comps questions for my masters. Yippee. As I said, we have Brian's wedding this weekend... then two weekends from now we have Kris and Krista' up in Mass. The weekend in between, not sure yet, but I am sure something will crop up. Working maybe?

Project is in full-swing and we sound good. We are still project unicorn (if you don't know, don't ask), but I have to admit that there is a LOT of talent in Purple. Go us! I think in directing Reverb I did not get a chance to really be musical (does that even make sense?) but I have really enjoyed our Project rehearsal so far... I just feel ON. It is a better atmosphere for me... everyone is focused, the rhythms are making themselves known to me, there are standards, something we are working towards. Its just really good to be part of a group that like-minded.



So... that is whats up for now. Today I will be chillin, cleaning, catching up on various things I have let go for awhile. And, of course, enjoying the sun.

sigh

Nothing like starting off the day with a mental breakdown.

No, seriously.


Overall, I am just beat. Whipped, if you will, and there is certainly no cherry on top.



Do not get me wrong, I am positively thrilled that Jon and I will be getting married in 3 months time. Every time I think about walking down the aisle towards him, I get a huge smile on my face. Then I check it out in the mirror to see if I am going to look like an idiot in my wedding pictures. (I do.)

I am excited for our honeymoon and more than ready to move out of my house and find a place together.


I just wish it weren't all happening at once.

I keep telling myself that it is probably a lot like childbirth - the pain is worth it in the end, and when it comes to fruition, you forget all about what you went through to get there. I am sure it is like that! At least, I have to believe that, otherwise I will seriously combust. And forget the spontaneous part, this has been coming for awhile.



Time is slipping by so quickly. Since this year started, I have been racing and racing and racing and I am not sure exactly what for. There is time to be had, yet every waking moment is spend in some sort of frenzied planning mode... even if I force myself to watch a movie or play video games! My mind just races, and I don't like it one bit.

I know it will get better. People keep saying to me - how can I help you? What can I do? Well, there is a list of a zillion little tiny details that need to be taken care of. For example, the centerpieces have to be made. The envelopes have to be addressed. I have to send an email out with hotel information (why I need to do that NOW before I even send out the invite is beyond me). I have to figure out what to do with my hair. I have to get presents for the bridal party. I have to write checks. The little things go on and on, and really, it is not stuff I can necessarily delegate. I fit it in when I can between the other things that I am doing.


Jon has been doing a very nice job of giving me credit for all the plans I have executed and made - and I appreciate that. What I really want though is for it to be over.

I should stress here that it is not the decision-making that is the issue, but the apparent accountability towards everyone else. Like I have said before, everyone comes to me about what is going on... I have my own list and my own timeline for doing things, and it is going just fine, thank you! Yet when you ask what jewelery my bridesmaids are wearing and I tell you I have not thought about it and do not particularly care, the way your eyes widen in shock annoys the snot out of me! And when you ask when and where my honeymoon is going to be and I do not know yet because Jon has been working on it this past week, it makes me very angry when you gasp and tell me, "I thought that would have been planned right away!" What you did for your wedding was very lovely, I am sure, but no, it does not particularly bother me if my bridesmaids wear different shoes and no, I am not buying stupid wedding trinkets that everyone throws away anyway, I am donating llamas. Why llamas? BECAUSE I CAN. And you know why I can? Because it is our wedding, and we will name our tables after muppets if we want to! Yes, I am going to "flip flop, flip flop" down the aisle because you cannot see my feet anyway, so why should I wear million dollar shoes that will give me a blister anyway? What am I going to do about my make-up? HA! Are you daffy? Do you see how much make-up I wear every day? In case you haven't, it is NONE. Well yes, I know that there are pictures to be taken, obviously I wrote a very large check to someone who will do that, but I do not feel the urge to be made up like Barbie's first prom. I would prefer if my fiance can recognize me other than the tell-tale white dress.


So really, its just the accounting to others that stresses me out. I would be perfectly fine if people just sort of left me alone and showed up in Maine on Sept 14th. Be surprised! It is going to be a very nice cermony, and we will all look dapper and dashing. I will look ravishing in my dress, you will remark how tiny I am and how pretty I look... we will proceed to eat a very yummy meal at a rather eccentric place. There will be dancing. The DJ will do a great job and our crazy photographer will be hanging from the ceiling taking pictures. You will enjoy yourself. So stop bothering me about details!


Okay, okay... it is nice that you care. It is nice that you are excited for us. Our wedding is about us and a big part of us is YOU... our friends and family. We want to celebrate our day with you because we are, in part, definied by the crowd we keep. And we love you, we do. I am sorry for flipping out, or giving you a tight-lipped smile, brushing you off, or simply evading you! It is not personal, because I really do appreciate that you are excited. But please, pretty please, this time with a cherry... Just come. You don't need to know any details but the most important one - Jon and I are getting married.





Now that I have ranted...


There is not much going on. Same old, same old.
School ended on Friday, my last day is Wednesday. Monday I am going to a balloon launch, then proceeding to chase the balloon. Tuesday I will be grading all day and therefore probably miserable. Wednesday is a half day and to celebrate I intend to treat myself to... something. Don't know what.

I am at work right now at the hospital, and I intend on working here lots over the summer.
Next weekend we are in Chicago to celebrate Brian and Suzanne's wedding.
After that, my nose has to hit the books because my study group expects an outline to 2 or 3 of our masters comps questions by June 30th. Fabulous. Who doesn't like going to the library and studying in the summer?
That weekend happens to be Kris and Krista's wedding in Mass., so Jon and I will be bunking up with Nick and Ian. I can't wait to spend the weekend with three boys whose current favorite joke is "That's what she said". (Sorry guys, you know I love you, I just don't like jokes.)
Project has officially started, so I will be singing on Wednesdays and Sundays, which is very good for my voice, but bad for my sleeping schedule. Eh, daylight is over-rated.

Umm... other than that... my iron is low. Really low. Which is another thing that makes me angry. My TIBC is normal, my transferrin a little on the low side of normal.... but my serum iron is REALLY LOW. Its just another reason why I have been so run down lately. Low iron = worn out Ericka.

Lastly, I really need to start working out, doing yoga, kickboxing, or something... I need some sexy arms for my wedding dress... Now that school is over, it is like I have 8 more hours a day to do something! AWESOME!