Otherland: City of Golden Shadow

As I pulled out this book to read tonight while I was at work, I happened upon my favorite little section of the book... it comes after one of the characters dances along to a song which is sung by another character.




"All people know the Grater Hunger." !Xabbu pointed to the figures in the rock-painting. "Not only the people dancing here, but the person who painted the dancers and all who have looked at the painting. It is the hunger for warmth, for family, for connection to the stars and the earth and other living things..."

"For love?" Renie asked.

"Yes, I suppose that could be true." !Xabbu was thoughtful. "My people would not say it that way. But if you use the word to mean the thing that makes us glad of other people, which makes being together better than being alone, then yes. It is a hunger for the part of a person which cannot be filled by meat or drink."

new years eve

I love this post secret bc it is so true. Someone wrote in saying this:

I feel an intense empathy with this person. in the classroom, we are expected to be teachers, parents, friends, confidants and miracle-workers. and yet, we go back every day because that magic is possible.






Back to school on Tuesday... and back to classes at West Chester next week.



But I am so tired of things right now... I wish it were possible to nap from the world.

the theory of evolution

My students are beginning the unit on Evolution. This is quite a controversy for most of them, as the majority of my kids are hyper Christian. It also turns out that 95% have never ever ever learned about the theory of evolution outside of heresay. It poses some interesting questions towards how I am going to teach it. I started off with a lesson on the nature of science... pointing out to them that science and faith are two different beasts... and for the smarter, more intuitive ones, that they do not necessarily cancel each other out. Oranges and apples you can compare and say, "Which fruit do you like better?" But here we compare orange and umbrellas... there is no category which to sufficiently compare them so that we could pick the better one.

Anyway, I then asked them three questions
1) Based on your prior knowledge, what is the theory of evolution?
2) What is the difference between a scientific theory and a belief? (Shockingly, they ALL got this right... they really know the difference, its so awesome!)
3) Tell me where YOU think humans came from.


I got quite a mismash of answers, and I thought I would share some of the more interesting ones with you.



Question 1:
- To me it says what do you think is responsibe for all the things we have and what was it before.
- I think that the Theory of Evolution is saying that apes are our betters and that every thing has changed from one thing to another and that someone really did not want to straighten things out with God.
- It says that all men came from adam and all women came from eve. (Ericka's note: I think hes a weeeeee bit confused here!)
- The theory suggests that we evolved from primates..in other words we are monkey men!!!! and women
- when u evelate something is when u do what u think is the right answer.
-The Theory of Evolution to me is a cell that evolves into another cell which evolves into something which evolves into something else. (Ericka's note: Aren't you supposed to like, NOT use the word several times in the definition?)
-the theory could be disproven and never proven to be true (Ericka's note: does this even remotely answer the question???)
-The theroy of evolution in my own words is that when there is a saying about something that was found in the pass and they made a statement about that it true.
-Evolution is a theory. Some Theorys say we came from a big boom, others say from apes, heck there is some that say we evovled from primoridal ooze. (Ericka's note: My father, in a flash of brilliance, told my brother and I to say "boom" instead of "poop".... so just think about that, then re-read this response)
-The Theory of Evoultion is (I think) a theory of 6 changes that has to do with human resources.
-




Question 3:

- I’m not Christian; I’m modern new age pagan. I believe that there is an after life and a higher power, my it be a powerful cloud of smoke or a talking tree, we came from nature.
-Personally, I am a Christian, but I am completely open minded to the Theory of Evolution and other theories. Who said Adam and Eve weren't really, really hairy or couldn't breathe under water?
-Like I don't see how anyone could believe that we came from monkeys. It just boggles my mind to even think that. (Ericka's note: but its easy to believe that God spoke and everything came into being??? ;) )
-Well I think that humans came from primates. I think this because humans have various amounts of hair all over their bodies and also humans have alot of characteristics of monkeys.
-I am not sure were humans came form.If you think about it they say dinosaurs were on earth first so that must mean we are some sort of dinosaur misfunction that can pretty much never become extinct. (Ericka's note: what?! What does that even mean?!?!)
-In the Holy Quran Allah states that he created man from dirt and clay and from it in to the father of humanity Adam.
-It really doesn't matter where I think humans come from. What matters is that I don't believe humans came from monkeys. If humans turned from monkeys to humans why are there still monkeys?? It just doesn't add up. Scientists are feeding us these theories/stories/etc saying we came from monkeys. Maybe at the end of this lesson I will look at the subject a different way. But for now nobody is going to change my mind about me thinking there is no way we came from monkeys.
-I think humans were on this plant the whole time and they were just in different life forms.
-
I think that humans came from God. Now you may be asking "where did God come from?" If a ball is thrown then there has to be a thrower and this process can go back indefinately but there must be an unmoved mover. this is similar to cause and effect. I spit a spit ball at jimmy and it hits him in the head.So jimmy gts a spit ball and misses me and hits john in the head. john misses jimmy and hit the teacher in the head and we are all sent to the principals office. that is basic cause and effect and the process goes back indefinately but there must be an un caused cause and this is called God (Ericka's note: Whaaaaa....?)
-I believe that humans came from whatever was the first thing on earth. Or I think they came from monkeys because a lot of people do represent monkeys. Now I do not know where they came from, but that's where I believe humans came from. (Ericka's note: yeeeah boiiiii representin)
-Whenever something dies it comes back as something else. Humans are the reincarnation of something.
-My own
feelings on the subject however are majorly complicated. I believe in the scientifics of how the earth was formed and life beginning. However that still brings to my mind, what to me seems the greatest question of all. How did anything start? If you think about it, how did anything begin? It is like a computer that has been turned on, and there is someone there just playing a game that we know as life. However when you think even deeper (have I lost you yet? I know my ideas are very crazy.) how did they start? So I believe in god and that when we die we will go up to heaven. However I think he just started the process of life, by creating nature and letting her take over. Yet my mind can't figure out exactly how anything started.

If I haven't confused you enough you can request my extended version, now remastered and bonus scenes not seen in theaters with added confusion!!!
-EVOLUTION IS DUMB!!!! seriously, what we are today came from a one cell organism, YEA RIGHT!!! The truth is that God created us to fellowship with him. If evolution is true, then we should be bent over backwards by now!!! what made evolution stop?!?! Our bodies are so complex that intelegent design is the only option that could be true!!!
-I think that we all came from are mom and dads :-o
-I think......I know that humans were created by god! Well actually I believe that god created the first two humans, Adam and Eve, and from then on they populated the Earth. But then you have to think of when god flooded the Earth and wiped out all the humans except Noah, his wife, his sons, and their wives. So I also believe that Noah, his wife, and his sons along with their wives, repopulated the Earth after god flood it. But either way, you still get god out of both situations.
-i think humans came from apes and slowly changed into humans lost alot of hair and their faces became rounder and more facial
-To tell you the truth I have no clue where humans came from. I heard somthing about us evovling from apes, but I don't believe that either.
- I think humans were around during the dinosaur year, but no one knew about them.
- I THINK WE CAME FROM ALIANS AND MONKEYS...lol

Christmas and whatnot

Overall I suppose the Christmas season was good...

I worked on Sat... then Sunday morning (christmas eve) I got up and went to church with Ethan. We did not really know what to expect since Calvary is kinda strange... and they did not do anything special for Christmas Eve. We continued our study of 1 Peter, chapter 2... and it was good. i like the way he brings a lot of references, digging into the OT and other parts of the bible. After that, Ethan went off to eat "brunch" (its breakfast and lunch!) at the Wineberry Cafe... I went home to bacon bacon and more bacon.

Jon showed up around 1:30 and we went to the People's Light to see Robin Hood (not Peter Pan) and it was good. It is a panto, which if you would like to know more about, you will have to look up on your own, but let's just say there was a lot of bawdy humor and very large man with an hourglass figure and some pretty crazy dresses on. It was a lot of fun, and there was audience participation, and lots of kids. I would say the only downside was that 1) it was not very Christmasy and 2) there were lots of little kid smells. Regardless, it was a good mutual Christmas present.

After that Jim, Maureen, Nan, and Bud came over for leg of lamb. mmm. there is not much more to say about that other than delish.

THEN we fumbled around trying to figure out what to do for church. Suprisingly no Catholic churches in the immediate vincinity had midnight mass, which my mom prefers on Christmas Eve. So I ended up going to Jon's church and hanging out with his sister, brother-in-law, and the former Nicol Household Squatter. The Nicols had people over after the service, so I went back there and ate lots of this awesome bread, courtesy, I think, of Mr. Matthews? I dont know who made it, but it was sheer awesomeness. I think around 12ish we popped in Muppet's Christmas Carol... and I promptly fell asleep in the middle of the Ghost of Christmas Past. Yeah. It was a very busy, but very good Christmas Eve. It was great talking to Michelle and Jason and seeing Amy (from Jon's church) and hearing about what she has been up to. Plus seeing all those OTHER people from Jon's church that I could only visually recognize before... and I still cannot remember their names, even though I try. Magically they know who I am. Sigh. I try!



Christmas was sort of a bummer... because I was out so late, I slept til almost noon. I awoke, though, to bacon bacon and more bacon, which I decided would go very well with french toast. So I made the french toast while my mom went to pick up Nan and Bud. I guess everyone got back atound 12:30. We ate, then started opening presents at 1. We sort of rushed bc I had to leave for work at 2:30. I got TONS of clothes... like... tons. Seriously. I need a walk-in closet. Or I just need to give clothes to goodwill. Anyway, it was good... and then I went off to work, where there were only 3 of us on instead of 4. That proceeded to suck until about 8ish when things calmed down. Graham was nice enough to keep me company on aim because his parents had already left for some other state, and he was alone and bored.


Yesterday I had the day off and I slept forever, which was GREAT. Last night, then, i went over to the Metsgers and got to hang out with all the former in-laws.... and as not fun as I thought it was going to be... it actually turned out to be a great night. I played Mizetti with sister Carin, cousins Andrea and Eva, Carin's friend Mel, Aunt Ruth, and Ethan's mom Lucy. That was cool. Then Ann and Elliot and Ethan came and joined us for Apples to Apples. I guess we played to nearly midnight... and ate cookies and chips and dip and chex mix. Have I mentioned I have been eating like a horse the past few days?! Anyway, I had a really good time. This Christmas has been hard bc I always felt like a close part of their family, and it was strange to be away from them during the season. I suppose it is for the best, but I admit it made me upset more than once in the past week or so.


So that is how things have been... I work again tomorrow, I am here at work right now...

Oh, buy the book Eragon by Christopher Paolini - it is freakin AWESOME. I just used Jenn's giftcard to buy the next book (Eldest) from B&N.com. FREAKIN GOOD. I finished it in like 2 days. I love when I buy books for other people and end up keeping them for myself. (Sorry Josh, you can borrow)

It is also Josh's birthday, by the way, so make sure you send him a text or im. :)


Back to work...

holiday time

Christmas time again... but there is something about having a real job which makes the holiday season seem a lot less magical and cozy.

Sure, they have been playing Christmas music since Thanksgiving... and we have had our Christmas tree up for about 2 weeks... yes, all the stores are decorated, and the lights are strung up... all of my shopping is completed and wrapped... some presents already given and received...

But it is just not the same. Being grown-up somehow seems to mean that you get to enjoy the season less.


And it does not even remotely help that it is not cold out.


I used to love sitting in front of the fire with a book, drinking tea, enjoying the glow of the Christmas tree... and I have not gotten to do that once so far! My mom did not even decorate this year... not that I blame her. But I remember being absolutely thrilled when the Christmas decorations came out and we put up snowmen everywhere and garlands on the hearth... we did not even put out our Nativity this year!!! It makes my heart so heavy when I think of how exciting my mom used to be over us kids enjoying the season... she always did the decorations for us, and somehow its like we are old enough now that we do not "need" it... bleh, I dont feel like growing up!!!



I hope that when I have my own family that I can take the time to enjoy the season... to always make time to pick out a tree and cut it down with the kids, to decorate, to bake cookies together, to sit in front of the fire, to put on Christmas music and dance. I miss dancing!!!

It is not to say that I have not gotten any of that this season... I have... even some dancing... but it is just not like it was.


I have the rest of the week "off". I say it like that bc I plan on posting some lessons for school and I am working at the hospital on Christmas, Wed, Thurs, and New Years Eve. Then it is back to school in two ways... teaching and grad courses at WCU. Perhaps I did not mention that before - I got accepted into their Masters program. Big whoop. For some reason, I thought it would mean more to me... getting my undergrad at PSU... getting my masters at WCU... I thought it would be special to me... but it isnt. I did not even have a graduation party when I finished college. I thought to myself that I would have one after I got my masters, but I am thinking that I probably wont. Maybe after I am Dr. Samuels. hehehe... yeeeeaaahhhh... :)


Merry Christmas my loved ones.

contentment (or something like it)

It is hard for me to tell sometimes what real contentment is. Some say it is just accepting your current situation as is and being happy with it. But then that makes me question the role of learning and growth. It is also difficult for me to know, then, when to ask for something, or when to just let it be.

And example might be my job at the hospital. There is no doubt that I get paid well for what I do. But do I get paid as much as the other people who work there? No. Is that fair? Not really. But again, what is fair?? Well, I think fair means people getting what they deserve. I am a good worker, I make very few mistakes, and my turn around times for tests are very quick.
But would I be content if I did not know what other people made?? So should I be content with what I do make? Or do I deserve more??

Truthfully, this is not the REAL issue, but a good example of what I am talking about. My pay at the hospital does not really bother me... the simple fact remains that I do not work enough to really warrent bringing up my pay that much.



But I struggle, sometimes, with knowing what to do with people. I have been told before to be self-righteous, to tell people what I want, to expect to be treated well, to not settle for less. But how do I know what appropriate treatment even is? How do I tell the difference between me being a brat and wanting to be treated like a princess and me actually being treated poorly and should actually demand better??

I am not very good at introspection, as I am sure you know... and I have this really odd lack of self awareness when it comes to stuff like this. Until, that is, a situation comes up in which I need to look at it. Being unhappy usually is a good indication that things are not right.... and that things need to change. But is it a change of the situation or a change in the condition of my heart that needs to happen? I just do not know.


I suppose in the meantime I should just focus on what I do know to be good and true and stable. Perhaps it is all just a reminder to Be still and know. I am trying!

things to see in my lifetime

In no particular order

1. Great Barrier Reef / Australia status - well under way
2. the Great Wall status - attained!
3. China status - very attained!
4. the pyramids
5. mayan ruins
6. paris
7. greece
8. ireland
9. scotland
10. castles
11. JAPAN
12. Grand Canyon
13. Glacier Nat'l Park
14. Yosemite
15. Polar Bears in canada
16. Italy
17. Boston
18. all of my friends and family get married and be happy
19. babies!
20. Africa

I think that is a pretty good list... obviously most are destinations... but I really do want to travel all over and do stuff and meet people and just be... I dont know, everywhere. Regardless, its nice to come home, and I think you appreciate it more once you have been away. I dunno.... anyone want to help me?

ebay stress

So apparently ebay has it's own culture.

I am currently trying to win a bid on these awesome Salomon techamphibian shoes... I think they would be great to have in Australia while we are in Darwin. Darwin is going to be between 80 and 90 degrees while we were there and we will be snorkling in the Great Barrier Reef... which, by the way, is on my list of things to see in my life.

Anyway, I am an ebay novice and have only just recently even tried bidding for something. Ive lost every time. So here I am at work, with an auction that ends in 1 hour and... 43 minutes now. I have already been out-bid. Bastard. However Mel here at work, who is an ebay power seller, started to give me some tips.

He says that first of all, I shouldnt bid until there are 13 seconds left. That means by the time it all goes through the computer, there are only 2 or 3 seconds left and no one will get a chance to put in their bid to beat mine. He also told me to research the seller to make sure he had favorable comments. And he told me to check for buyitnows and best offer auctions. And he told me to check out their store. And apparently I bought something in 2004 and got good feedback on it. I have no recollection of ever buying anything on ebay - let alone winning it. If I did, I would at least remember some of the sweet victory glow.

So all of this talk has made me STRESSED. I have currently set a timer to warn me of the final 10 mins where I am supposed to sit there and watch the time tick down until those final crucial seconds before it is over. EEK! It makes my heart race, it is stressful man.

I guess we will see how that goes.


I am also currently looking for an Icebreaker 1/3 zip up with thumb holes. Canberra, which is probably the furthest South I will ever be in my lifetime will be a fabulous 40 to 50 degrees while I am there. So packing is going to have to be diverse and meaningful. And I just really really really want something with thumb holes. Always have. They actually make icebreakers in new zealand, so maybe when I am down there I can find it for cheap. the specific thing I am looking at I have found online for about 175 bucks. Not a small price... it is merino wool, which is why its so freakin expensive. So I dont know... It would be nice to find on Ebay, but when I think of how much food Jon and Josh and I bought for Philabundance the other day for 120 bucks, I think I would feel a bit ashamed if I spent that much on a freakin sweater.




So anyway, speaking of food... Josh and Jon and I got a WHOLE SHOPPING CART of food for the Camp Out For Hunger, run by wmmr. Jon and his friend Jeff from work went down on Friday to drop it all off. All said and done I think he said it was like 310 lbs. That is pretty good! It is amazing how much food you can actually get for 120 bucks. Good work! :)


Other than that, Paige and Brian and Lea's baby shower was today - which I did not make due to feeling extremely under the weather in more ways than one. Shrug. It was best to stay home, and it sounded like a fun time. Lauren thought Lea was adorable, and it seemed like everyone else I talked to had a good time. Sigh. I was reading a story today encouraging women to have babies between 25 and 35. Like my life is even close to that. Stupid biological clock. I figure pretty soon we should start hitting the second volley of marriages... though it is suprising to think that a good lot of my friends are already married.

I think I need to watch the grinch. and merry christmas charlie brown. its about that time.

Lots of good things afoot!

I love love love December. I love Christmas lights and Christmas music... I love fires in the fire place, singing, the threat of snow, yummy food, and snuggly clothes. I love dark nights with good movies and blankets. I just love December! Leslie, Jon, and I got to see Lea Campbell Johns for the first time on Thursday - she is adorable, and I even got to hold her! Paige and Brian seem to be holding up very well and making the adjustment seem like a breeze... but perhaps they are just too tired for it to really hit them yet! Anyway, Lea is a cutie with Brian's nose, Paige's lips and filtrum (those divets above your lips, yes, I know the name, and yes I am a nerd), and a crown of dark hair. It is so neat to hear Paige talk about the whole experience and to watch both of them with her.... it seems both natural and insanely bizzare at the same time. My friends have BABIES. It is really neat to see them, but I cannot help but have some sort of maternal instinct like - awww I want one... but I keep telling myself to be patient, God has plans, and they are way better than mine, and everything will happen when it does and when it is supposed to. I guess it would help to have a boyfriend first. In other news, slightly related to the previous, which has maybe heightened the tick of my biological clock - I went for an ultrasound last week to see if I have endometriosis. Sigh. I will not find out until Tuesday or Wednesday if I have that or if something else is wrong. I guess we shall see. It relates because if I do have endometriosis, it could make it hard for me to have kids. On the plus side it means lots of sex once I get married. Shrug. Silver lining I suppose. Today me, Jon, Matt, Lauren, and Dave volunteered for GoodWorks but I will have to get to that later. Right now work at the hospital calls.